real rejection

Aside from the hustle bustle of last week my family (minus hubby who was on duty at Fire Station) watched the movie "How to Train a Dragon". I have to say it was a beautiful written, moralistic action packed fairy tale for boys and girls. I of course had introspection that many kids may not but I think my verbalizing of a bit settled within my oldest son.

I likened him to the main character (although it isn't his Dad or I that is let down by his differences). #1 enjoys making predictions like they are taught in school with regards to literature. Many people think he is attempting to spoil the plot and get angry. I understand this concept, kindly inquire what he is doing and confirm, then explain why his siblings are rude to his remarks. A knowing nod and back to the movie. Hopefully a seed that will stay planted in good soil.

A bit after that I mentioned how he is similar because often kids at school and even some grownups assume by face value his worth through stature and physical ability alone etc. Yet, in the end of the movie his unique ideas brought exactly what the people needed and they were enlightened. I coupled this with God's purpose in his life for creating him just as he is too. He heard me, he engaged with body and mind to my thought process and said nothing. It wasn't the blank stare nothing but the hmmm gears turning nothing.

Today as he and #2 were out shopping etc a woman remarked about him really being 10. She repeated the fact with the obvious doubt that comes when you look only at his height. Then a few moments later explained to me how she has 2 grandson's, naming their ages and their heights compared to her stature. I took the high road, not certain how to be polite and correct in love. After she left the words " God created people in many sizes, shapes and colors. Isn't it amazing?". I will make that my response because it says what I mean (shut up and think about what you are saying first, but much kinder) and well it is the truth. He and I exchanged a knowing glance, he had heard her words. I felt like the worst mom ever because I said nothing. This will not happen again.

On the way home after picking out a beta fish for each of the big 3 and hermit crabs for #4 we discussed naming them. #1 said, "I think I will name him sad eyes. (he continued) When I looked at him I could tell he felt rejected because he had not been chosen by anyone else." That breaks my heart. Only a person who has felt the stab of rejection can infer that into an exchange with a fish. This world we live in really is such a tough place. No one prepares you for the pain of having to watch your children be rejected.Here is a perfect example of him at his classroom party with boys who didn't really even want him in their group!

I don't always dwell or truly help him grasp how we are more than conquerors with Christ who strengthens us.As long as he embeds that in his spirit too I suppose I can handle helping him stand tall on the road he walks to fulfill God's plan on his life. You can't grow up without experiencing imperfection but man. I just want to stomp and say no fair! Whew! Every year this gig gets harder and harder. Why am I surprised?