Peculiar Perspective Pondering and All that Jazz

  If you know me, then you know I like to reflect, analyze, jest, and much more. I rarely spend time with people who think like m, whicht frustrates me beyond all else. This however is no surprise to God, my creator. Knowing that is true, also knowing that He does all things for a defined purpose I am left with more thinking and pondering.

     Joy-what makes YOU feel joy? Like truly sunshine on a rainy day, walking on clouds kinda joy? Don't get all lame with me by saying chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, or the sound of spring rain on a day you do not have to get out of bed. I mean JOY written in all caps? 2 things come to my mind first. One when I am with my entire family talking, enjoying each other's company. We can be at home playing a game, watching tv/movie WITHOUT devices in hands or out and about anywhere.     

     The 2nd thing is intellectual conversation. For example I recently had an incredible discussion with someone who believes the earth is flat. Like done the hardcore research and can share it in a way that does make you question certain pieces of information you have always believed. I am SO not writing this to debate that issue. Rather a means to explain that I enjoy thought-provoking genuine knowledge-building kind of talk among people. I don't particularly love history or politics but because my oldest son does I can be caught in that topic a time or two. I didn't realize how much I desperately crave that particular item until time and distance came between a friend who was the main source of that joy.

     Today I am sitting in a seminar about increasing the reading intervention impact within and outside the classroom. This title sounds so beautifully professional and dynamic and well it sure is. But as I dig deeper in the things I already know, coupled with the research to prove those ideas it causes me to reflect, analyze and ponder professionally and personally. The speaker is 70 years old and reminds me of a teaching partner at the 1st school I taught. She goes all over the country giving these seminars and THEN on top of that has adopted 2 schools where she goes in and does the very things she is teaching. She is everything I dream I can be in the future. SO now I am thinking I am 42, how do I get there in 28 years. 28 years is so much and so little all wrapped in one. What do you want to be when you grow up ..again. I mean don't we all, or shouldn't we all look forward to someone ahead of us to keep striving never stopping? I certainly waiver from driven, determined and frustrated at reality. Each day is a mental battle of what wins. Hope, future or apathy at how things currently are fight in a never ending battle for my mind.

     Lastly, what do you do when no one around you catches the vision the same? When you feel lost in a sea of isolation. I mean I have been studying Elijah and Elisha. One was known for isolation and struggled not knowing; the other was known for relationships. I SOOOO want to be the later but I often have the overwhelming incredible belief in the first being my current life. All I know is I cannot wait till heaven to experience the full joy of being exactly where I am designed to be. In the meantime,e I push past the distracting and less appealing thoughts that hurt. How about you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Talking is fundamental

Image
6 people live in this house of mine. Most days there is plenty of space for everyone to move about separate of another. The outdoors is 10 acres of mostly wide open space for freedom. The one thing there is not enough of is quiet. #1 can talk your ear off and then some. He continues to read and reread his Titantic book, quizzing his siblings and myself. I really don't understand how Daddy misses out on the quizzes but some things may never be understood. The only way I get quiet is to allow electronics. I will admit that I have done that more than once to ensure a moment or two to think, better yet not think. Since #2 and #3 are playing ball this summer he keeps saying he is going to play next summer. Poor thing feels left out of the hustle and bustle. I am not so sure he would enjoy the pressure to perform but we shall see. #2 can talk as she chooses but is easily engrossed in her writing or reading. Conversations with her are based on real life events, or thoughts about futu...
Read more

Ugh!

My husband has this cough, ANNOYING cough which appears to have absolutely no purpose in life. I must endure in silence because I am pretty sure he wouldn't do it if he could help. Yet all I can think of is the last time I tried to be politely quiet which back fired. Stop me if you have heard this story, or well skim ahead. :) I was awaiting the birth of #2. It was night and I was 9 cm dilated. Although this was my 2nd full term child, it was my first real labor with #1 being a breech c-section. The time approached 9pm and the thoughtful well practiced nurses encouraged me to "get some rest" before I was to push. You never know how short or long pushing turns into so I readily agreed (the epidural making it possible to think about relaxing in the first place). All (as in the 4 other people) were kicked out of the room but hubby decided to come back. I suppose his concept of not leaving me completely alone was well intentioned but what took place was far from helpful. I ...
Read more

Valentines, Boys and food

Last night all 3 big kids sat with me on the little couch reading books. One of them was called will you be my valentine. Michael asked what a valentine was and as I was explaining about "boy" friends and boy friends/ girl friends and "girl" friends. Annabeth then says so you and Daddy knew each other when you were kids. I tell her no and she gets confused. She asked some more questions suprised to hear that Daddy wasn't my only boyfriend. She asks if I kissed the other boys and I hestitated but said yes. She asked how old I say when you are 16 you might kiss a boy, HA! Daddy chimes in and says more like 20. All the kids yell at him because he usually does add something to tease with. Annabeth then covers her mouth and says I am NOT going to kiss a boy. Jan 1st 2010 we were heading to eat Chinese. It was 10:30am. Joey said I haven't eaten breakfast. I said well you should have done that before we were leaving can't you wait. He said nothing so I left t...
Read more