Forest Fires Within

Just a teeny tiny spark is all it takes to ignite a blazing inferno that ravages fields, forests, and entire neighborhoods in the dry periods of weather patterns. Though I personally have never experienced this kind of large-scale natural disaster, I have walked through brushy, hilly areas wearing fire gear, carrying tools, and feverishly making a fireline to prevent the expansion of many a brush fire. 

Ever known something about someone in which you knew there was no upside to sharing? The part of the show or movie where you see or hear the characters' thoughts and scream at the TV, DO NOT SHARE that information? But, like all good scripting, the info gets exposed and alters everything? 

Truth cannot be untold, unheard, or unlived. Our mind is a powerful place. I am one of those people who want to dive deep into its complexities. In my 4 decades here on this earth, it is safe to say that without emotional depth in some part of my world, I flounder. There is a price that must be paid in the journey of self-discovery. You travel year to year, either circling or exploring and revisiting favored destinations sometimes, all three. New roads mean opportunities for experiences you never imagined, but also toll stations as a cautionary tale to create a pause for you in your trek. Last night, I paid a toll. 

If I were being honest, this revelation wasn't a surprise. Deep down, I knew the facts, but hearing it from whom I did and described how I did, well, that stung intensely enough to leave a scar. I have no choice but to recalibrate my vision eternally in this area. 

"The recovery process and land conditions after a fire largely depend on the fire's intensity: how hot it burned and how far it spread. In the early days of recovery, burned landscapes are colonized by hardy microorganisms and resilient plants, often known as "pioneer species." " (WesternFireChiefAssociation.com)

My inner circle includes very few people. Truth be told, I don't have anyone that I am 100% real with. Are there people who can say they are? You are pretty lucky if you can. I haven't done much study on the accuracy of that line of thinking, but feel a safe presumption that it is right. We hold back a portion, or a chunk, for fear of being truly seen in our ugliest. It is the place that leaves me at Jesus' feet because he sees all that plus what I can't see for myself. Don't get me wrong, I have people. In fact, my last 3 1/2 years have given me the gift of clarifying which people are those I simply know, those who were but a season, and those I want to stick around for the long haul. 

"Prescribed fire can be used to maintain and restore the condition and function of ecosystems and to reduce wildfire risk. This work, in turn, assists fire responders in protecting communities, property, and infrastructure in the event of wildfire." (research.fs.usda.gov/rmrs/fire/prescribed)

At this present moment, I am comprised of the hardy things that weren't burned up on that dark September day. The pioneer species that were planted in me throughout my lifetime, but especially since 2017 in Israel, and in 2021, bloom readily. Those major events were 4 years apart, so it is fitting that this, 4 years later, feels like a defining moment. I don't know if I will share this beyond my blog, which feels more like a holding space at the moment. Eventually, such a day will come when I know what to do with all these words. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Those who love its use will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 

Here's to a season of new growth ahead.