Missing pieces

Today was the last day of school for my niece as well as the first/last day there would be just 6 kids at my house (my 4 with niece and nephew). Once the holiday weekend is over I will be caring for 7 children Monday-Friday minus holidays. That being said I wanted to do something really fun to mark the occasion. Roller skating seemed to be the best choice. 2 two year olds cannot physically do such an activity and it is not a inexpensive one either. The kids agreed, it was an awesome plan.

The morning started off better than any expectation. All children followed direction and assisted each other. #2 even managed to get #4 in the car, buckled and ready with no additional help. 6 voices could be heard singing along to the music, ac on but my window cracked for the added enjoyment of fresh early summer air. You really haven't lived until you were surrounded with the sometimes non melodic noise of children singing happily in a car. It really can turn a bad day to great in mere seconds.
Our first stop was to drop off #4 to her favorite friends house. This would be the last time she could spend the day there during the week too. Initially this made little negative effects. Who would argue that a 2 year old is a joy to run errands? A doctor's appt which went very well, McDonald's trip for nuggets to accompany the other items packed for picnic time, and lastly retrieval of niece from school at 11:30 went smoothly and with little to remark. The park was also a perfect choice, few children and plenty of shade from the already hot summer sun.
The skating rink however presented several challenges as #1 and #3 had never been, C (cousin) being only 5 had done it some time ago, and #2 one other time for her bday party. K (cousin) was quite good for a kid, moving at her own pace and falling a time or two but needing little if any help. In retrospect I should have just left my shoes on and walked around with each but hindsight is always 20/20. #2 insisted on in line's and a very sweet teenage girl maybe 13 or 14 was a godsend. She walked behind and alongside until it was obvious to everyone she needed regular skates. I attempted to help #3 until the kind owner took pity on me and spent 5 minutes giving him pointers. He did the same with #1 who was less receptive and ready to quit 15 minutes in. I am proud of how he did try, controlled his emotional frustration ending his time with some additional practice on the carpeted area. The only not so great moment was when he and I skated together and in his attempt to stop from falling drug us both to the rock hard floor. I had enough time to think about relaxing into the fall, yet my hands instinctively went down and boy did it hurt. A red mark and bruise remain but shhh I will never tell the kids that...

C held on to the wall most of the time but chugged along. I can't recall spending much time out there with him. He is stealth like, missing the radar if you're not looking. I make a concerted effort to include him as best as possible. He bailed with the other two boys and off to play on climbing equipment they went. #2 now in quad skates did well and I zoomed back and forth between the girls teasing, smiling and having fun. The music/video choices were a little off for the younger generation but added an element of humor to this odd time with the kids. A few of the songs were as follows: Ice Ice Baby, Love Shack, Everybody Dance Now, MC Hammer, Walk like an Egyptian and more. The owners are my age but still this was not what you imagine hearing for a summertime skate session.
Start time 12:50 end time 1:55. While sitting on the bench waiting for kids to swap out skates for shoes I realized how still it seemed with no #4. Several times while driving that day I did a double take to remember where she was, and why I couldn't see her. As much as that little ball of redhead fire adds to my work load I sure do miss her when she is gone.
The next step was to pick her up, filling the car with gas on the way. Heck it was only 2.49 too!! A half an hour later, chatting with great friends we headed on to the last stop. #2 was spending the night with a friend. We arrived home, kids spiraling away to change in order for a dip in the pool. #4 keeping me on my toes the entire way. I sat by the pool noticing more than once how there were 4 heads to count in the pool and 1 outside unlike the usual 5. K and C head home, the remaining 3 and I gather to move inside for the night. I make dinner aware again there are 3 not 4. We play, we talk and still I have to keep saying 3 to myself.
Friday night means 9ish bedtime. The boys first choice of this special time, daddy at the fire station no sister is a movie. A visit from G means a short one is chosen. I nearly fall asleep on the couch with them, but once #4 is in bed relish this time with my young men. This time the missing piece seems less like a whole but an opportunity.
To bed they head, prayers and snuggles goodnight. But now the missing piece seems huge. No Dad whose job is protect, no sweet daughter to add her small but worthy prayer requests, loose teeth and more. How can a house with 4 people inside seem so empty? I am gonna be that weepy mom when there are no more babies I think. I miss my sweet girl and find it hard to close my eyes to sleep. We prayed together and my spirit man is at peace. It is so funny how we become accustom to our life. Change is good, change is hard. I am so glad she is confident in herself to leave but I will be glad tomorrow when she is back here with me.
This weekend we have 3 whole days as a family of 6. As nice as it seems to have a break from #4 and #2, I will hold on to how much I appreciate my crew. Somebody please remind me when I have less grateful words to say..which could be just about any moment to come.