insanity or not?
Insanity means to do the same thing over and over expecting different results. Tonight as I put my children to bed, said my goodnight prayers, gave hugs and kisses then headed towards my own room that definition sticks out in my mind. Here I am picking up the stray pencil that is near its home but not quite there, the pillow lying on the floor instead of the couch. Here I am another night putting the remaining dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, checking the locks. Toothpaste in on my sink and towels from showers on the floor. These are the very same things I do day after day. I lecture, make lists, discuss, yell, anything along the way to motivate and promote responsibility. Isn't that what parenting IS about? Well, maybe minus the occasional loss of temper, I am human:). I mean train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it right? Are these two thought process' like oxymorons or are they just taken out of context in the world of parenting?
As children age they learn and grow in their abilities independant of their parent. They will and must fail at times in order to learn resilience and humility and a million other character words as well as life skills. So, then I ask where is the balance between insanity and the end positive result? I don't know the answer that is for sure. Just when I think I have it all figured out one of them throws a wrench in my plan and it is like I am back to square one. Sure, being on the 4th child I roll with the punches and duck and weave better than the rest but I don't have all the answers. My 4th taught me about thinking you know it all, and showing me I might still be the back seat driver.
When she was born she wasn't to keen on the pacifier. Many babies have to be "taught" how to use it so no problem. I did what we all do, put it back in when it drops out and prop in such a position it is more likely to stay, hold it there for a minute or so to make sure they have good suction, een purcjase different kinds etc. Prior to this experience I truly doubted all woman who said there child wouldn't take one. I deemed it like a cope out, of being afraid of admiting or an avoidance of discussing that they didn't want to use it etc. I believed the same about several things moms would say their baby wouldn't do. Babies need to suck, it is soothing and part of their natural instinct. I am not an advocate of long term use but in the first year, more concretely the first 0-3 or even 3-6 mos it can be a real blessing for mom and baby.
I cannot remember the day or week beyond that it was very early on she made it clear it was not something she could be taught. She already had an opinion and we all know when babies (especially red headed ones, LOL) make up their mind there is no changing it. I tried more things than I can even list but she never swayed. This baby never had a binky. The same occurred for a bottle. This baby was the only one that I never went back to work (college with Joey). SO, she rarely needed a bottle which gave her probably too much mommy time. Something tells me this would not have mattered unless I worked full time but even then I am not going to guarentee she couldn't put her little size 1, 2 or 3 foot down along the way.
I even was gone an entire weekend. The only 2 bottles she ever took were mixed with juice and required more disguising, and frustration than actual nutrition. Yep, kids are far from predictable. What works once may NEVER work again. Or even better require such tweeking for each subsequent child you will hardly remember what you did with the first.
How then do I keep from periodically feeling like a whirlpool is spinning me around and around until I am dizzy and cannot walk? How then do I stay strong through the tired, or sick, or burned out moments that cycle like the sun and moon? Today I am fine, snow days seem to do that. The pressure of leaving the house and having deadlines removed allows for freedom, and joy....mostly. The kids can handle this temporary distraction from life's hustle bustle too. Yet, I glance over to our family plan. My newest attempt at reminding the kids of the same expectations in a new and fresh way, and wonder is all this insanity?
As children age they learn and grow in their abilities independant of their parent. They will and must fail at times in order to learn resilience and humility and a million other character words as well as life skills. So, then I ask where is the balance between insanity and the end positive result? I don't know the answer that is for sure. Just when I think I have it all figured out one of them throws a wrench in my plan and it is like I am back to square one. Sure, being on the 4th child I roll with the punches and duck and weave better than the rest but I don't have all the answers. My 4th taught me about thinking you know it all, and showing me I might still be the back seat driver.
When she was born she wasn't to keen on the pacifier. Many babies have to be "taught" how to use it so no problem. I did what we all do, put it back in when it drops out and prop in such a position it is more likely to stay, hold it there for a minute or so to make sure they have good suction, een purcjase different kinds etc. Prior to this experience I truly doubted all woman who said there child wouldn't take one. I deemed it like a cope out, of being afraid of admiting or an avoidance of discussing that they didn't want to use it etc. I believed the same about several things moms would say their baby wouldn't do. Babies need to suck, it is soothing and part of their natural instinct. I am not an advocate of long term use but in the first year, more concretely the first 0-3 or even 3-6 mos it can be a real blessing for mom and baby.
I cannot remember the day or week beyond that it was very early on she made it clear it was not something she could be taught. She already had an opinion and we all know when babies (especially red headed ones, LOL) make up their mind there is no changing it. I tried more things than I can even list but she never swayed. This baby never had a binky. The same occurred for a bottle. This baby was the only one that I never went back to work (college with Joey). SO, she rarely needed a bottle which gave her probably too much mommy time. Something tells me this would not have mattered unless I worked full time but even then I am not going to guarentee she couldn't put her little size 1, 2 or 3 foot down along the way.
I even was gone an entire weekend. The only 2 bottles she ever took were mixed with juice and required more disguising, and frustration than actual nutrition. Yep, kids are far from predictable. What works once may NEVER work again. Or even better require such tweeking for each subsequent child you will hardly remember what you did with the first.
How then do I keep from periodically feeling like a whirlpool is spinning me around and around until I am dizzy and cannot walk? How then do I stay strong through the tired, or sick, or burned out moments that cycle like the sun and moon? Today I am fine, snow days seem to do that. The pressure of leaving the house and having deadlines removed allows for freedom, and joy....mostly. The kids can handle this temporary distraction from life's hustle bustle too. Yet, I glance over to our family plan. My newest attempt at reminding the kids of the same expectations in a new and fresh way, and wonder is all this insanity?
Of course it's insanity that's why psychologist spend so much time and money studying how we do what we do...lol. It's crazy and beautiful and frustrating and at times we wonder why we do it all, but at the end of the day the hugs and kisses and sticky fingers and homemade art on the fridge make it all so worth it.
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