Priceless
Part of the challenge in being a Stay at home mom is the lack of adult conversation. Sure, playdates here and there or visits from family make great distraction and help to bridge the gap. But, there is something to be said about a person's(specifically this person"s)need to interact with adults. I found even teaching gave me this same frustration from time to time.
I love my husband dearly, and in the first months of our courtship I felt one of his endearing qualities was his abiltity to listen. As with most unmarried individuals I found out after being married that the difference between listening, and active listening or hearing is tremendous. I attest his inability to hear something spoken, internalize and provide a thoughful response to the speaker as a product of his childhood. He naturally is an introvert. Most of his formative years his mother pride's herself on saying he kept to himself and she waited on him to speak. He ate dinner in his room most nights, and had a select few close friends. Don't get me wrong, due to the small town he lived in and his parent everpresent community involvement coupled with 2 popular brothers 1 older, 1 younger he wasn't a complete hermit. Yet, when given the choice he would rather be alone.
I on the other hand am an only child. I have spent the greater part of my life longing for a companion. I have a real need to relate with people. This contributes to my desired occupation, but is a part of me that will never change. For example, my motivation to have a Facebook account, participate in a local Mommies website, and even this blog is to interact. I want to live with those around me not as a solo piece of God's pie. I am learning as I age that not all people feel this way and I can be a bother or a blessing. I also am learning how to appreciate my solitude. Yet, in my marriage this is one missing piece.
I feel most loved when someone close to me not only listens but acts. Monetary items are not necessary but seem to be easier for some to show love. I am just as blessed by the silent help in an area of need, or quality feedback without judgement when I speak. I know with continued prayer God will help bridge this gap between my husband and I. After 11 years I have learned it isn't because he does not care, he just doesn't think that way. When you aren't required to interact with others you never learn how to pay attention to them.
Today I recieved a unexpected package from a family member who lives far away. Distance stops us from being a part of the day to day but it does make the moments we share so much more special. In it were 2 children's books (I love children's literature but then what teacher /mother of young kids doesn't:). Each book related to something I made mention in this very blog. Without comments it is hard to know that others are there. I like having a spot to put my thoughts down, I need to share it but it can be another source of loneliness too. Each book is perfect and wonderful and brought tears to my eyes. These 2 books, I had never seen, but will be so special to share with my kids. These 2 books came at the exact moment I needed a reminder that what I say and feel is heard by someone.
In a few more days I will recieve another package from the only other friend I have that makes me feel like I do right now. She is thoughtful and kind. We may not always agree, yet we agree to disagree and push on. She is smart, strong and talented in so many ways. She too lives far away which many times is frustrating. Yet in the distance we have learned so much about each other as people which may not have happened here.
I cannot be more thankful for you ladies than I am right now. My close family provides for the little things which are so big in helping me survive raising my children. It is so good to be reminded that I too have people who value me for the woman I am seperate from the many hats I wear.
Thank you ladies. You have given me a priceless gift.
I love my husband dearly, and in the first months of our courtship I felt one of his endearing qualities was his abiltity to listen. As with most unmarried individuals I found out after being married that the difference between listening, and active listening or hearing is tremendous. I attest his inability to hear something spoken, internalize and provide a thoughful response to the speaker as a product of his childhood. He naturally is an introvert. Most of his formative years his mother pride's herself on saying he kept to himself and she waited on him to speak. He ate dinner in his room most nights, and had a select few close friends. Don't get me wrong, due to the small town he lived in and his parent everpresent community involvement coupled with 2 popular brothers 1 older, 1 younger he wasn't a complete hermit. Yet, when given the choice he would rather be alone.
I on the other hand am an only child. I have spent the greater part of my life longing for a companion. I have a real need to relate with people. This contributes to my desired occupation, but is a part of me that will never change. For example, my motivation to have a Facebook account, participate in a local Mommies website, and even this blog is to interact. I want to live with those around me not as a solo piece of God's pie. I am learning as I age that not all people feel this way and I can be a bother or a blessing. I also am learning how to appreciate my solitude. Yet, in my marriage this is one missing piece.
I feel most loved when someone close to me not only listens but acts. Monetary items are not necessary but seem to be easier for some to show love. I am just as blessed by the silent help in an area of need, or quality feedback without judgement when I speak. I know with continued prayer God will help bridge this gap between my husband and I. After 11 years I have learned it isn't because he does not care, he just doesn't think that way. When you aren't required to interact with others you never learn how to pay attention to them.
Today I recieved a unexpected package from a family member who lives far away. Distance stops us from being a part of the day to day but it does make the moments we share so much more special. In it were 2 children's books (I love children's literature but then what teacher /mother of young kids doesn't:). Each book related to something I made mention in this very blog. Without comments it is hard to know that others are there. I like having a spot to put my thoughts down, I need to share it but it can be another source of loneliness too. Each book is perfect and wonderful and brought tears to my eyes. These 2 books, I had never seen, but will be so special to share with my kids. These 2 books came at the exact moment I needed a reminder that what I say and feel is heard by someone.
In a few more days I will recieve another package from the only other friend I have that makes me feel like I do right now. She is thoughtful and kind. We may not always agree, yet we agree to disagree and push on. She is smart, strong and talented in so many ways. She too lives far away which many times is frustrating. Yet in the distance we have learned so much about each other as people which may not have happened here.
I cannot be more thankful for you ladies than I am right now. My close family provides for the little things which are so big in helping me survive raising my children. It is so good to be reminded that I too have people who value me for the woman I am seperate from the many hats I wear.
Thank you ladies. You have given me a priceless gift.
What were the titles of the books? Please know that even though I may not comment on each post, I do check for updates daily and read each and every post. <3 ya!! :)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely do know that, but emotions happen regardless of knowledge;)
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm there in a few weeks, remind me to tell you how much I love that your blog helps me feel like I'm not missing out on the good stuff of the day to day.
ReplyDelete