Budding flower of thought
Last Sunday my Pastor spoke on this topic. Since I tend to be a reflective person, and enjoy analyzing etc it spurred many thoughts. One of his statements was regarding premarital sex. Of course his stance was to avoid but he had legitimate reasons about the bond between man and woman that God created with Adam and Eve. I wholeheartedly believe that likewise there is something that connects those who share that level of intimacy in a small or big way. But this point was brought to the surface even more so when my kids and I headed to hang out with hubby at the Fire Station.
Hubby was working 3 days in a row, 2 of his regular days and the day in between as a trade day payback on another shift. It also just happens to be that my ex fiance works on that shift and was there too. It probably is no stretch of the imagination that as he and I resided together for several years and what that entailed. He is now married with 2 kids and I 4 kids later and nearly 12 years married as well am far from pining for the guy. I am thankful for the road traveled, it led me here and without it I would not have what I do. Yet no matter how much time goes by it is always a tad bit awkward when we are alone in a room together, or even in a group especially with hubby there.
I reached to hold his hand because I miss him and need the affection and I noticed that when x looked over, eyes dropped to the hands hubby took his hand back. My husband is a private person in many ways up there so I knew the action carried nothing but a respect for the public thing but well the sermon came back to me. X and I will always share something that cannot be taken back. There is no do overs. Dating someone is not the same kind of baggage. Oh how I hope to teach my kids this valuable lesson.
I am reading a book called, "God knows how to raise your kids even if you don't" click here to see
I admit that I have owned this book for a couple years. I read the first half which was priceless to me but never got beyond it. I am glad I didn't because I do not think I would have had ears to hear the dating part prior to now. My daughter may only be 8 but with her and her cousin playing truth or dare, pretending that special boys live next door and they have an apartment now is the time to instill Godly ways with the opposite sex.
Now on a separate note I have to say how much my marriage has grown. In fact I am also keenly sure that the reason it has changed is not due to my husband. I believe I was not who I needed to be and was seeking out people to fill the hole that only God could fill then when it didn't work blaming my husband as not "getting me". Reality check, all outside distractions gone and a true focus on the man who I share so much with later I am happy. I mean we have more work to do together but who doesn't/ Relationships are work and never stop. I found the note he gave me for Valentine's day this year. When I first read it then I was sour about the day not working out and who knows. The words he chose seemed corny to me and I will even admit I made fun of them. But now, I see with a new light looking at it from where he came from not where I would be coming from. He really thought out his words and gave the short note his all. I tend to be harsh in expectations of him unlike anyone else. I also have a probably unfair emotion connected to store bought cards. For whatever reason the printed words anger me. Anger is a secondary emotion but what is the first I am not sure. I would much rather have a note than an expensive mass produced piece of paper. I do not know why that is but I am praying that God can show me how to change that. Anyway, here is what it said.
Dear Elizabeth,
You are the center of my universe I love you. You are my bestest friend and companion. You own the key to my heart.
Love,
Mike
Why did I not appreciate that HUGE effort on his part? I repent for sure! I hope you all have a moment of revelation in the near future too.
Hubby was working 3 days in a row, 2 of his regular days and the day in between as a trade day payback on another shift. It also just happens to be that my ex fiance works on that shift and was there too. It probably is no stretch of the imagination that as he and I resided together for several years and what that entailed. He is now married with 2 kids and I 4 kids later and nearly 12 years married as well am far from pining for the guy. I am thankful for the road traveled, it led me here and without it I would not have what I do. Yet no matter how much time goes by it is always a tad bit awkward when we are alone in a room together, or even in a group especially with hubby there.
I reached to hold his hand because I miss him and need the affection and I noticed that when x looked over, eyes dropped to the hands hubby took his hand back. My husband is a private person in many ways up there so I knew the action carried nothing but a respect for the public thing but well the sermon came back to me. X and I will always share something that cannot be taken back. There is no do overs. Dating someone is not the same kind of baggage. Oh how I hope to teach my kids this valuable lesson.
I am reading a book called, "God knows how to raise your kids even if you don't" click here to see
I admit that I have owned this book for a couple years. I read the first half which was priceless to me but never got beyond it. I am glad I didn't because I do not think I would have had ears to hear the dating part prior to now. My daughter may only be 8 but with her and her cousin playing truth or dare, pretending that special boys live next door and they have an apartment now is the time to instill Godly ways with the opposite sex.
Now on a separate note I have to say how much my marriage has grown. In fact I am also keenly sure that the reason it has changed is not due to my husband. I believe I was not who I needed to be and was seeking out people to fill the hole that only God could fill then when it didn't work blaming my husband as not "getting me". Reality check, all outside distractions gone and a true focus on the man who I share so much with later I am happy. I mean we have more work to do together but who doesn't/ Relationships are work and never stop. I found the note he gave me for Valentine's day this year. When I first read it then I was sour about the day not working out and who knows. The words he chose seemed corny to me and I will even admit I made fun of them. But now, I see with a new light looking at it from where he came from not where I would be coming from. He really thought out his words and gave the short note his all. I tend to be harsh in expectations of him unlike anyone else. I also have a probably unfair emotion connected to store bought cards. For whatever reason the printed words anger me. Anger is a secondary emotion but what is the first I am not sure. I would much rather have a note than an expensive mass produced piece of paper. I do not know why that is but I am praying that God can show me how to change that. Anyway, here is what it said.
Dear Elizabeth,
You are the center of my universe I love you. You are my bestest friend and companion. You own the key to my heart.
Love,
Mike
Why did I not appreciate that HUGE effort on his part? I repent for sure! I hope you all have a moment of revelation in the near future too.
Comments
Post a Comment