Wonderous and wicked words
This holiday season has been a whirlwind to say the least. My return to work has marked a barrage of events, activities and demands. It should have been no surprise that school "break" would be just the same. When you couple such things with hosting family and friends there is no true break. BUT it was all worth it and I would hands down do it all again. Maybe. Just kidding :)
Up until today I would have been honest in saying non of my children have spoken the ever dreaded I hate you, or you don't love me words. But all good things must come to and end and in my 11th year of parenting it finally did happen. Whom said such you ask... #3. I would have let the whole jackpot ride on number 4 myself. She has her own phrases today too, but one kids story at a time.
#3 is tired, T...I..R..E..D, tired! He is a physical kid who needs his sleep and maybe a bit more rest than a typical 7 year old should. I will deal with that via doctor after this "vacation". All the constant movement of cousins, friends etc has gotten him off his usual sleep schedule and he clearly needed a nap yesterday let alone today. When I had him empty the dishwasher and we disagreed mildly about part of it he spewed the words, "You don't love me.You hate me." Funny thing is I recall the story hubby's mom told me (over and over) about the day he said that to her. It was only once and she spanked him for it. HA! Gotta love that backwards thinking that punishment is the answer. Getting to the heart of it all I knew he really felt that way because I was requiring something hard of him. A simple I am sorry you feel that way right now, but I still love you no matter what is exactly what he was asking with his statement. I wonder what my kids will feel I did wrong to them just like I do of my MIL.
Now digressing I should add that #2 has said or mostly written that I don't love her when she has gotten in trouble. She never said this with the same manner as he did. She truly believed that her wrong choices could take away my love. Hate, that word is a pretty big word around here and we do not yield it lightly. I am not sure at the moment any of my kiddos saying the I hate you remark. Thank goodness for that, as I am pretty sure it would leave a scar on my heart.
#4 well she repeats often "I love you mommy, but sometimes I don't." I typically reply, "I always love you Evangelene, even when your mean." Speak the truth in love, that she does. There is no fear, no regret, no manipulation, just truth to her little world. I love the innocence and honesty this age allows.
The wonderful words of the week, they are a douzy! #1 my mighty orator, man of many words, leader in the making is the center for this. Yesterday his Gma took him and a friend to get his hair cut then to lazer tag. Shortly after getting in the car he asks Gma to pray with "friend B" to ask Jesus into his heart because he doesn't want him to go "there" (pointing down). I smile at his respect for the place down "there" in which he refuses to even utter its name. I love his passion, I love that he didn't corner me with this opportunity. But then again I wonder why he didn't? I hope it was just the alone moment without the hustle bustle of the large crowd of kids I seem to have in tow. "Friend B's" eyes got wide and Gma took the pressure off by asking #1 why he didn't think he was already saved. #1 asked him, to which his said he didn't know. #1 passionately responded, "Either you are or your not!". Gma asked what "friend B" knew and did at his church then later gave the option to pray the sinner's prayer with her. He did, unsure what he felt himself in that interaction but if nothing else it is a seed planted in his life. Is it bad that as I go through my life I look for the ways I/we effect people? I mean how cool would it be if in the future he remembers this day and Joey's concern for his future? I take this as a reflection of me as his parent and though I do not get credit at all am proud to see his follow through. Sometimes ya need this kind of reminder of why you are a mom/dad and that it is not all for not!
Sadly, there was one more example to add to this message and since I didn't write it down immediately have forgotten. Alas, I may add it again if the mind returns. Which could easily be a very long time, HA!
Up until today I would have been honest in saying non of my children have spoken the ever dreaded I hate you, or you don't love me words. But all good things must come to and end and in my 11th year of parenting it finally did happen. Whom said such you ask... #3. I would have let the whole jackpot ride on number 4 myself. She has her own phrases today too, but one kids story at a time.
#3 is tired, T...I..R..E..D, tired! He is a physical kid who needs his sleep and maybe a bit more rest than a typical 7 year old should. I will deal with that via doctor after this "vacation". All the constant movement of cousins, friends etc has gotten him off his usual sleep schedule and he clearly needed a nap yesterday let alone today. When I had him empty the dishwasher and we disagreed mildly about part of it he spewed the words, "You don't love me.You hate me." Funny thing is I recall the story hubby's mom told me (over and over) about the day he said that to her. It was only once and she spanked him for it. HA! Gotta love that backwards thinking that punishment is the answer. Getting to the heart of it all I knew he really felt that way because I was requiring something hard of him. A simple I am sorry you feel that way right now, but I still love you no matter what is exactly what he was asking with his statement. I wonder what my kids will feel I did wrong to them just like I do of my MIL.
Now digressing I should add that #2 has said or mostly written that I don't love her when she has gotten in trouble. She never said this with the same manner as he did. She truly believed that her wrong choices could take away my love. Hate, that word is a pretty big word around here and we do not yield it lightly. I am not sure at the moment any of my kiddos saying the I hate you remark. Thank goodness for that, as I am pretty sure it would leave a scar on my heart.
#4 well she repeats often "I love you mommy, but sometimes I don't." I typically reply, "I always love you Evangelene, even when your mean." Speak the truth in love, that she does. There is no fear, no regret, no manipulation, just truth to her little world. I love the innocence and honesty this age allows.
The wonderful words of the week, they are a douzy! #1 my mighty orator, man of many words, leader in the making is the center for this. Yesterday his Gma took him and a friend to get his hair cut then to lazer tag. Shortly after getting in the car he asks Gma to pray with "friend B" to ask Jesus into his heart because he doesn't want him to go "there" (pointing down). I smile at his respect for the place down "there" in which he refuses to even utter its name. I love his passion, I love that he didn't corner me with this opportunity. But then again I wonder why he didn't? I hope it was just the alone moment without the hustle bustle of the large crowd of kids I seem to have in tow. "Friend B's" eyes got wide and Gma took the pressure off by asking #1 why he didn't think he was already saved. #1 asked him, to which his said he didn't know. #1 passionately responded, "Either you are or your not!". Gma asked what "friend B" knew and did at his church then later gave the option to pray the sinner's prayer with her. He did, unsure what he felt himself in that interaction but if nothing else it is a seed planted in his life. Is it bad that as I go through my life I look for the ways I/we effect people? I mean how cool would it be if in the future he remembers this day and Joey's concern for his future? I take this as a reflection of me as his parent and though I do not get credit at all am proud to see his follow through. Sometimes ya need this kind of reminder of why you are a mom/dad and that it is not all for not!
Sadly, there was one more example to add to this message and since I didn't write it down immediately have forgotten. Alas, I may add it again if the mind returns. Which could easily be a very long time, HA!
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