Marriage=Work= Rewards

Work is the appropriate word for relationships specifically marriage. As I enjoyed sunny, warmer weather for my run I debated such concepts. I recalled hearing or reading some wise person saying that we have to make conscious choices not emotional ones. There are days in every relationship where you just don't like the other person. I mean I love my husband don't misunderstand me for one second. But well we are so very different too. He is day I am night, he is non fiction, I am love story. He is quiet, I am music. He is still and relaxed, I am busy and active. In these things we compliment each other yet we drive each other crazy too.
My meta cognition resulted in a greater awareness that I just didn't want to do anything about the distance I "feel" currently. Instead I want to sit back an not care at all, be annoyed and justified in my tone. Yet I recall that only a short couple weeks ago during a similar run I felt immense adoration for him, thanking God for such. Ha! Am I crazy? Am I really the only one who swings the pendulum like this even after 13 almost 14 years in?
I get how he will always leave the light on in our closet, his socks on the floor by the couches, and give me an evil eye if I make any slight noise while chewing. I understand his inability to analyze things instantly and leave room for thought before discussion.  In all that and much much more I HATE how we sit on our prospective computers night after night barely speaking then say a select set of words before sleeping (well not EVERY night he he but more than not). Busy kids lives lead to necessary concerted effort for us, just us.
Ugh, but I don't wanna do that. I mean where are the days when we can't seem to get enough of each other? Oh they were left on vacation that's where.
Needless to say in my thought process I heard the gently nudge directing me to not sit back and be. Instead as we are about to celebrate out wedding day in one short week I get that a small effort of prioritizing will breach the distance and step by step we are back in business. In fact while I sit here typing these very words he is making an attempt by asking me several questions about my day and evening. Sigh, I am so glad we are truly vested in this deal. I really see how people end up "growing apart", one day at a time.
So, please excuse me while I shut down this computer and learn about my husband again. Isn't wonderful that if you notice the small shifts it is so easy to shift back slightly so it feels oh so big and close again!