Dinner time chat

Tonight Daddy cooked fish for dinner, salmon tasty and beautiful in all its cooked glory. Though I enjoy these time very much, my children believe they a 21st century type torture. I think Daddy even brought the famous "There are kids somewhere in the world that don't get to eat all," line.
I prefaced the eating with a swift reminder that 2 bites were required, there would be no speaking about the food or stiff penalties are in store. Oh and of course, nothing nice to say don't speak all comment too.
As with any dinner in my home, discussion of some kind occurs. It began with Daddy saying he caught the fish we were eating. #3 asking how do they get the eyes out? #1 in all his wisdom said they cut off its head. Daddy and I glance at each other no words needed. #1 almost always asks for approval, so as expected right Daddy was next, followed by a yes Joe. Daddy then confessed the untruth causing a round of Daddy.
On this vein of thought talking continued. #1 explained that he wishes you could throw fish in the air and it would explode. You would have to run inside in order to not get fish guts on you but it would however be really cool. I am so in favor of this talk as I do like fish but when it starts to appear like it would be alive, or I can picture it alive well eating it seems no longer appealing. Daddy who is trying to hide his laughter reminds children that mommy might not be able to keep eating if they do not stop.
Mid laughter #4 who was moved to the table instead of the bar by me tooted. She had tried to tell me something about also not liking this fish when she did so. This caused her to stop and laugh saying she tooted. She then reached to her bottom and said my butt tooted. I laughed at her and said my butt went pffffff, making the sound. The crowd went wild at this. Probably not in good judgement as it will be repeated but couldn't be helped.
I guess the word butt made them thing of lightning bugs which were landing on us last night because #1 said to #3 remember the bugs who had a light bulb in their butt. #2 added that's is the special signal to find their boyfriend. Kuddos to her listening to my explanation, although it was missing pieces.
I guess I should be thankful that this fish meal while tasty was far less painful than just about every other experience. Kids say the darnedest things.....