I will conquer!
To steal the train of thought from another fellow blogger...
This is week 3 of running on days that my husband is home in the am. He works 24 hour shifts at the Fire Station and during the week most days heads to his 2nd job not coming home until the evening unless it is a weekend. With that in mind I figure that I need him to be home for the majority of my run (4 kids oldest not quite 10, youngest 2) is not the best to be left alone. This works out to be 3 times a week with a random 4 times here and there, and a rare 2 times once every 9ish weeks. Those weeks should even themselves out.
I love to run, well as I sit here I can safely say I love to run. Yet, it seems when the alarm clock rings at 6am I force myself to get up. I use the restroom, put my hair up and change clothes. Then I grab my blackberry which acts as my ipod, and headphones making my way outside to stretch. Stretching complete I walk the length of the driveway and begin running when I reach the road. I switch my route depending on my neighbor and her unfriendly dog she walks, or truly just a whim. I basically know what is a mile but should probably drive it to be sure. Right now I am more concerned with time then distance. I run for as close to 30 minutes as I can, also making it home in time to meet hubby in the driveway and say adios, smoochy, I love you nonsense:)
Not a bad plan, not a plan for everyone either. I have made this plan work well back in 2005 when I managed to drop from size 10 pants to size 8. Course, then I had a treadmill and less restrictions on times but still dedication is not lost on me when it is part of my routine. I will admit I think over many times while running that I so wish I could do this a bit later in the morning so #2 could run with me. She enjoyed doing it together when I did the coach to 5K program with her. I plan on taking her with me for the Asthma 5K in October, #1 too. Oddly enough #1 wants to do this. Besides, running with a partner is much easier.
It has to be easier because once I find my runner's high, and then my runner's low when the high ends it is an argument to continue. How is it possible to have so many varying emotions in such a short time? I guess only women can understand that question. In the beginning I feel tired, and stiff. Then that morphs quickly to energetic and aware of how small I really am. I look around, feel the stillness of the morning minus a car or two passing by, check out the beams of sunlight or the cloud cover ahead. Those are the moments when time stands still and I thank God for such an intricate and beautiful place he created for me. That passes and next comes the reality that my heart rate is increased, my breathing no longer consistent deep in and outs but labored. I calculate each breath, close my mouth forcing me to use my nose. This corrects the extra effort and I am back to my thoughts. By now the music has slowed or shuffled to something I do not like and I must deal with changing, skipping/flipping to a better choice.
At this point I am nearing my high. Just reached, or passing the half mile mark I feel the adrenaline rush. I step it up just a bit because it is one of those hair blowing in the wind free from anything or anyone that is stressful physical reactions. Free from responsibilities of kids, husbands and home I keep going looking ahead and around at where I have been since I am now on my way back.
That washes away leaving behind the intensity of my body, ab muscles being used and breathing a bit faster than it should. I am now tired and ready to stop but know better than even think about checking the time. The clock is like a time bomb waiting to explode. If I look at it, then each second will be like forever. My mind remembers the 911 callers I help stay calm as they wait patiently or often impatiently for help to arrive. Yes seconds, minutes can feel like an eternity! Then I tell myself it is 30 minutes of my life, 30 minutes of my entire day. I can cope with anything for that long. I was in labor longer than that, I lasted hours with appendicitis, tubal pregnancy longer and much worse than this short time. Mind over matter baby. HA! Mind over matter, my body says but oh no one will see you. No one will know that you didn't run the whole way or time. You can just jog the last bit so hubby will think you really ran. I hear these thoughts as if hubby even cares that I run at all. Still, the accountability pushes me. I say Self you will know. One day I could be later than I thought and he could drive my way to tell me and see. Yeah right, but it usually works and on I go.
This is the place I can no longer look ahead. I am forced to keep my focus on each step directly in front of me. The end cannot be in sight because it discourages me and furthers my internal argument. Instead I say one more, and one more and another until behold I have made it to my driveway again. Now, at some point in all this I have checked the clock. The key being do it during the high and not the low. That last but drills home God's lesson for me. I don't have to figure out how to get to the end. I only have to take the steps he has laid in front of me. One foot, then the other. He knows the beginning, he knows my end. If I step to the side I will get to the end but it will take longer and cause me more pain. He has the end prepared for me.
Thank God he has done that, because if in 30 minutes not counting warm up and cool down I go from tired, thankful, elated, frustrated, then ready to give up how much more do I go through those emotions daily on my own. I will conquer this physical battle to get my body toned and healthy. How much more can I conquer spiritually from my time with him?
Next step is factoring in to my nap time/break time daily God focus too. Some mornings I am able to read and study before kids arrive/wake up, but not always. I want this to be an everyday habit, I need to get my spirit man built up with the word so when I struggle being home alone with all these kids I can stand tall in the gifts he has given me.
I will conquer this mountain, because the view from the top is unimaginable and leads me to the next hurdle all the while getting closer to all my dreams coming true. I do really love creating teachable moments, mini lessons, crafts and fun with these kids. I do love making memories by being ever present for them. Yet, in all that I am human and Supermom I am not. Shhhh I still parade with the shirt on time to time. I am woman hear me roar....hahahaha.
This is week 3 of running on days that my husband is home in the am. He works 24 hour shifts at the Fire Station and during the week most days heads to his 2nd job not coming home until the evening unless it is a weekend. With that in mind I figure that I need him to be home for the majority of my run (4 kids oldest not quite 10, youngest 2) is not the best to be left alone. This works out to be 3 times a week with a random 4 times here and there, and a rare 2 times once every 9ish weeks. Those weeks should even themselves out.
I love to run, well as I sit here I can safely say I love to run. Yet, it seems when the alarm clock rings at 6am I force myself to get up. I use the restroom, put my hair up and change clothes. Then I grab my blackberry which acts as my ipod, and headphones making my way outside to stretch. Stretching complete I walk the length of the driveway and begin running when I reach the road. I switch my route depending on my neighbor and her unfriendly dog she walks, or truly just a whim. I basically know what is a mile but should probably drive it to be sure. Right now I am more concerned with time then distance. I run for as close to 30 minutes as I can, also making it home in time to meet hubby in the driveway and say adios, smoochy, I love you nonsense:)
Not a bad plan, not a plan for everyone either. I have made this plan work well back in 2005 when I managed to drop from size 10 pants to size 8. Course, then I had a treadmill and less restrictions on times but still dedication is not lost on me when it is part of my routine. I will admit I think over many times while running that I so wish I could do this a bit later in the morning so #2 could run with me. She enjoyed doing it together when I did the coach to 5K program with her. I plan on taking her with me for the Asthma 5K in October, #1 too. Oddly enough #1 wants to do this. Besides, running with a partner is much easier.
It has to be easier because once I find my runner's high, and then my runner's low when the high ends it is an argument to continue. How is it possible to have so many varying emotions in such a short time? I guess only women can understand that question. In the beginning I feel tired, and stiff. Then that morphs quickly to energetic and aware of how small I really am. I look around, feel the stillness of the morning minus a car or two passing by, check out the beams of sunlight or the cloud cover ahead. Those are the moments when time stands still and I thank God for such an intricate and beautiful place he created for me. That passes and next comes the reality that my heart rate is increased, my breathing no longer consistent deep in and outs but labored. I calculate each breath, close my mouth forcing me to use my nose. This corrects the extra effort and I am back to my thoughts. By now the music has slowed or shuffled to something I do not like and I must deal with changing, skipping/flipping to a better choice.
At this point I am nearing my high. Just reached, or passing the half mile mark I feel the adrenaline rush. I step it up just a bit because it is one of those hair blowing in the wind free from anything or anyone that is stressful physical reactions. Free from responsibilities of kids, husbands and home I keep going looking ahead and around at where I have been since I am now on my way back.
That washes away leaving behind the intensity of my body, ab muscles being used and breathing a bit faster than it should. I am now tired and ready to stop but know better than even think about checking the time. The clock is like a time bomb waiting to explode. If I look at it, then each second will be like forever. My mind remembers the 911 callers I help stay calm as they wait patiently or often impatiently for help to arrive. Yes seconds, minutes can feel like an eternity! Then I tell myself it is 30 minutes of my life, 30 minutes of my entire day. I can cope with anything for that long. I was in labor longer than that, I lasted hours with appendicitis, tubal pregnancy longer and much worse than this short time. Mind over matter baby. HA! Mind over matter, my body says but oh no one will see you. No one will know that you didn't run the whole way or time. You can just jog the last bit so hubby will think you really ran. I hear these thoughts as if hubby even cares that I run at all. Still, the accountability pushes me. I say Self you will know. One day I could be later than I thought and he could drive my way to tell me and see. Yeah right, but it usually works and on I go.
This is the place I can no longer look ahead. I am forced to keep my focus on each step directly in front of me. The end cannot be in sight because it discourages me and furthers my internal argument. Instead I say one more, and one more and another until behold I have made it to my driveway again. Now, at some point in all this I have checked the clock. The key being do it during the high and not the low. That last but drills home God's lesson for me. I don't have to figure out how to get to the end. I only have to take the steps he has laid in front of me. One foot, then the other. He knows the beginning, he knows my end. If I step to the side I will get to the end but it will take longer and cause me more pain. He has the end prepared for me.
Thank God he has done that, because if in 30 minutes not counting warm up and cool down I go from tired, thankful, elated, frustrated, then ready to give up how much more do I go through those emotions daily on my own. I will conquer this physical battle to get my body toned and healthy. How much more can I conquer spiritually from my time with him?
Next step is factoring in to my nap time/break time daily God focus too. Some mornings I am able to read and study before kids arrive/wake up, but not always. I want this to be an everyday habit, I need to get my spirit man built up with the word so when I struggle being home alone with all these kids I can stand tall in the gifts he has given me.
I will conquer this mountain, because the view from the top is unimaginable and leads me to the next hurdle all the while getting closer to all my dreams coming true. I do really love creating teachable moments, mini lessons, crafts and fun with these kids. I do love making memories by being ever present for them. Yet, in all that I am human and Supermom I am not. Shhhh I still parade with the shirt on time to time. I am woman hear me roar....hahahaha.
Love the tone of your writing in this post. Nicely done. I can so relate to the struggles and trials of getting to the "end". I SO want that glimpse into my future. To know that I will find acceptance and contentment here on Earth once again, as I know both those things await me in my Heavenly home. Glad that you are doing something that is all for you and your enjoyment, accomplishment, and overall health.
ReplyDeleteFor mileage info go here: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/
Thank goodness you know how to copy and paste ;P
awesome awesome awesome!!! This is why I like reading your blogs always something worthwhile in there.
ReplyDelete