Imperfection is nothing but a dose of reality
A beloved family member brought to my life by marriage said Defect=Good. Such an in depth thought really. Life at least while here on this Earth is chock full of less than perfection. So much so that if you were to read the wikipiedia definition of the word even that cannot be set or clear. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfection
The scene is an atypical school morning. Being blessed with parents who live next door means that they sometimes keep a child or two when running errands etc. At the time when #4 was born I watched my nephew C 3 days a week. It was not unusual for the "boys" or singular boy depending on day (nephew and youngest son #3) to stay with G-ma and/or G as I took the older 2 and #4 to school. This particular day C was not with us and I had my somewhat new family for this trip. #2 was in K and she enjoyed me to walk her to the classroom each day. A small amount of geography for those who have never been, but the bathrooms were located directly across from her room.
This day #3 said he needed to use the restroom. I instructed him to go ahead and meet us (baby and I) in the hallway. I figure it would have made sense because our timing would be close. In to the classroom I head, chat with the teacher, kiss and hug #2 goodbye and I head out to the car. Yes, I walk down the hall, out to the van and get #4 and myself in. I start the car and proceed to drive away making it to the stop sign and across the overpass heading home. This took approx 3 to 5 minutes. Once at another stop sign I make yet another turn and glance in the rear view mirror. It is at that moment the light bulb appears and panic strikes me. Of all the places to leave a small child accidentally a school is the place but at the same time the school is a place where you are absolutely judged on your parenting ESPECIALLY if they know that you once were a teacher.
I dial the phone in my haste of returning to retrieve my son. They have him in the office as he was intelligent and headed to his sister when I was nowhere to be found. He remained withdrawn and quiet but readily hugged me. The principal (who by the grace of God is no longer at the school for future interviews) was kind outwardly, the secretaries doing the "it could happen to anyone" routine. Yet #2's teacher whom I had established a comfortable repoire with teased me relentlessly for months. She even said (not realizing how the knowledge of other staff judging me hurts) she defended my mistake as the reality that is 4 kids, another regularly and new baby lack of sleep. All of this is accurate, the inconsistency of my routine being the greatest culprit but imperfection of human nature at its core.
Parenting is messy, there is no straight and narrow path. It is windy, curvy and dark at times. NO person is without fault and no child leaves home without baggage. Yet in ALL this God has made a way for me and you. His plans are not to harm but to restore, bless and prosper. He has given us each gifts which must be cultivated in all that we are surrounded. I know that this is why I must renew my mind with his word because without it I can do little. I have been a mom for 10 1/2 years (well 11 if we are counting pregnancy) and I am pretty sure I have made PLENTY of mistakes. This one just happened to be public in nature, and thankfully a single life altering moment. I am certain he does not remember this, I however do and can only guess that when I am gone he will be teased by his siblings for such. But that really is ok because I am not perfect and am proud of it. In my imperfection I can grow to conquer the world because I am not finished!
Perfection is found in the eye of the beholder and from my own experience it isn't really about the absolute but actually about the process in getting to "the end" or the finish as that is where the Latin is derived. I like to think being unique to the point of inspiration is a much better goal. Since God instructs us to be a light that shines for him. Another blogger whom I have never met posted about her mommy moment, or lack there of ...combined with above thoughts gave way to the sadly true story I will reveal. I suppose I could spin the positive in that it took me 4 kids to find myself in such a public precarious state but one kid or 4 it can and may just happen to any mom.
This day #3 said he needed to use the restroom. I instructed him to go ahead and meet us (baby and I) in the hallway. I figure it would have made sense because our timing would be close. In to the classroom I head, chat with the teacher, kiss and hug #2 goodbye and I head out to the car. Yes, I walk down the hall, out to the van and get #4 and myself in. I start the car and proceed to drive away making it to the stop sign and across the overpass heading home. This took approx 3 to 5 minutes. Once at another stop sign I make yet another turn and glance in the rear view mirror. It is at that moment the light bulb appears and panic strikes me. Of all the places to leave a small child accidentally a school is the place but at the same time the school is a place where you are absolutely judged on your parenting ESPECIALLY if they know that you once were a teacher.
I dial the phone in my haste of returning to retrieve my son. They have him in the office as he was intelligent and headed to his sister when I was nowhere to be found. He remained withdrawn and quiet but readily hugged me. The principal (who by the grace of God is no longer at the school for future interviews) was kind outwardly, the secretaries doing the "it could happen to anyone" routine. Yet #2's teacher whom I had established a comfortable repoire with teased me relentlessly for months. She even said (not realizing how the knowledge of other staff judging me hurts) she defended my mistake as the reality that is 4 kids, another regularly and new baby lack of sleep. All of this is accurate, the inconsistency of my routine being the greatest culprit but imperfection of human nature at its core.
Parenting is messy, there is no straight and narrow path. It is windy, curvy and dark at times. NO person is without fault and no child leaves home without baggage. Yet in ALL this God has made a way for me and you. His plans are not to harm but to restore, bless and prosper. He has given us each gifts which must be cultivated in all that we are surrounded. I know that this is why I must renew my mind with his word because without it I can do little. I have been a mom for 10 1/2 years (well 11 if we are counting pregnancy) and I am pretty sure I have made PLENTY of mistakes. This one just happened to be public in nature, and thankfully a single life altering moment. I am certain he does not remember this, I however do and can only guess that when I am gone he will be teased by his siblings for such. But that really is ok because I am not perfect and am proud of it. In my imperfection I can grow to conquer the world because I am not finished!
Oh good... so glad to know someone else has done it as well! Although I remember my parents doing it a couple times with my youngest brother (#5). :-) Sorry you were teased... not something I'd want to be teased about!
ReplyDeleteisn't it funny the things we consider humiliating in nature someone else would read and think it was no big deal. I'm sorry you had that feeling of panic it so sucks..I can totally relate though remind me to tell you about our zoo experience..lol
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