Talking is fundamental

 I recently read an article in the magazine Real Simple Jan 2011 issue. The author points out how at a young age we feel happy about specific things such as a pet, friends or present. Yet as we age we stop feeling so happy about the little stuff and in turn stress about finding happiness, getting what we think we need to be happy. She even goes on to point out that the availability of meds for unhappiness in the form of mind, and body have turned happiness into something we can expect, maybe even demand from those around us.


The funny thing for me is that society, or maybe just me strives to do things that gain the ultimate happiness whether career , leisure or relationship. I too am also aware of the little things that make me happy. BUT and that is a big but because well there always is another missing piece, happiness is an emotion and emotions waiver. I can feel complete bliss one moment and then hours maybe even minutes later just the opposite. For example yesterday I took my niece and nephew along with my middle 2 children ice skating. On the drive we were singing along to music together anticipating the enjoyment ahead. As we skated they all succeeded and I was able to skate with them not help them. Then when tired kicked in we left before it turned bad. Making a snack stop at Steak and Shake for half price shakes and cheese fries they all giggled, chatted and generally were a pleasure to be near. I felt on top of the world in having the time, money and opportunity to do all those things. I even commented on FB such expressions of joy. But later while prepping our traditional finger food by candlelight those peaks were gone. Eating with a crew of now tired and random people makes for intensity and erratic words and actions. Cleaning up was less than fun, and knowing I would soon have to head out to work from 9 to 11:30 didn’t help either. Yes, my high was long gone and nearly forgotten.

This morning in my drive back to work I took the moment of stillness, barely a car in sight to sing along with worship music in an attempt to restore my spirit. Today will involve much metacognition (thinking about my thinking, one of my fav’s from my college education). I have made it a goal of mine to focus on God first each day. In that I came to terms with one thing. Happiness can never be attained. It is in the here and now. Happiness is a choice not a constant. Life is about choices. I repeat that to my children, students and friends when necessary. There is always a choice. Today I choose to plaster that in my brain and speak to myself. I can choose to focus on the pieces that make me happy and strengthen the things that don’t. There is always something to be happy about.

My hope is to include each week a post of the things that make me happy. It may not be long, but it will exist. I intend to make choices about my days instead of saying that they choose for me. Life is full of choices and I want to do my absolute best to be proud of those choices. I hope, no I pray as you take the time to read my words you too will be effected. If you are reading this you are my friend and I am thankful for your choice to share my life. I want, no I need to share life with great people like you!