well...

It seems that throughout any given day I have hundreds of things that inspire posts. Kids, observations, aggravations go on and on and I feel the urge to share/type. Yet when the peace of the house returns all that I once felt led to say is fleeting and mute. Maybe, if I use the skill of simply beginning, ya know the one I tell my students about when they are stuck I too will remember.

One thing is my eldest son. while remarkable in his outlook on life, he is maturing right before my eyes. One minute he created a dodge ball form of game while en route to Six Flags then another he is assisting me in unloading groceries. Not only assisting but without reminder, or complaints AND he even mentioned the following, "I just want to let you know that I left my Tae Kwon Do pants on your bed to help. I don't want you to think I forget them or am being lazy." One I feel a pang of guilt that he used the word lazy, thereby meaning I implied he was previously. Though I am aware that we all are at times and calling a spade a spade is not necessarily a bad thing. On top of it all I felt proud. This is just one of the many times in recent days that he is surfaced such maturity. I have a daughter who took the stage and held her own, and a son who is really getting it. I know don't hang on to this getting it too tight cause the teenage brain loss will kick in all too soon. In the meantime I will put in writing that sigh of relief that there is hope he will leave this house a well mannered, creative, thoughtful kid.

Also notable occurrence is the shift in dynamics within the 6 children who reside with me Mon - Fri this summer. #1 typically the left out one older than them all but not a girl like older cousin and #2. This year is different because cousin C is soon to be 7 (well in a month) and delving into the gaming world like his Uncle my husband. #1 and he have developed special time doing just that which in turn has made #3 the left out child. It is funny how #2 is not the typical middle child syndrome being the oldest girl and turned to for backup when I am busy or gone. #3 he hasn't quite got his niche. Fighting to be in the midst of the older two his lack of reading ability held him back. #2 once completed K held her ground with the older ones so sufficiently I didn't realize it as atypical. #3 is not in the same place as her and therefore feels "little" because he needs modification to the bigger kids antics. Not only that but C's interest in his brother leaves him vying for attention unlike before. C and him were like twins, attached at the hips and happy.

Courtesy of my mother's suggestion his love for Lion's is the new theme for his "big kid" room and the search is on. I feel that when he has a room which appears finished it will make him more at home. My mother has long felt the color scheme, etc of a room affects the person. I used to think she was exaggerating but well I enjoy my peaceful room unaffected by the kids (mostly). If "we" (because goodness knows she is on the team for this area) make his room about strength, courage and power so shall he be. Since he is a gentleman, considerate, and aware of others unlike most kids it won't be an arrogant thing but just the fire to inspire if you follow. He already has a few pieces, one of which is a lion made by his Dad when he too was his age. I all about those kinds of special things so it is fitting. His son the name's sake, the only one who embraces all that Dad has to offer. Yep, I assure you this kid will not be able to say he was the left out middle child!

Lastly, my father. He has now been in the hospital 9 days with no certain end ahead. I mean it could be tomorrow that they enlighten all that he has going on and he heads home or it could be longer. The doctor's are not saying much besides Type II Diabetes and the nerve issue. I have peace that God is in this and it can be felt in his stead but at the same time I know this is a precarious place and should be interceding more than I am. I am dropping the ball in my prayer life and it simply must stop. Tomorrow morning I vow to get back on the wagon I keep pushing down the hill and not filling with fuel first to get back up it. Tomorrow I will spend time in the word first, expecting my children to do the same and I will thereby kick start the entire day. Our world is so full of distractions in the form of connection. Isn't it ironic really? How is it that I am so very busy with so little to show for all of it? At the same time I feel so connected with my family, so aware of letting some of the little things such as housework be for a bit in the greater scheme. I feel God answering prayers about the kids next steps piece by piece. I don't have the whole puzzle in place but I know he does and am sufficiently awaiting his voice without hours of restless wonder. God is so very good. If you don't really know that then hopefully you will give him a chance to show you!