Unintentional expectations

SO, despite my words of trying to not "figure" IT out I apparently played it out in my head and heart. Ya know when you have your heart set on one thing so when that doesn't happen it feels like a direct blow. The kinda blow that knocks the wind out of you. That is exactly what I felt like today.

I teach at a Lutheran School. While I am non-denominational I never got the impression that there were sides in this God life. I look at Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran etc as people who have various interpretations of the Bible. I have not personally researched the differences because honestly I know my beliefs and that is what matters most. In the end I do feel as long as any of those "labeled" people have accepted Christ as their Lord they too will meet me in Heaven some day....End of Story in my book. Silly, naive as that was it is simply how I felt with people of faith, real Bible based faith anyway. Then no surprise will be seen when I tell you that today the line was drawn in the sand leaving me to walk away as it is one team against the other. I expect this outside of my inner circle but well this year I haven't ever felt it at this job. I love this job, I mean I couldn't be happier with my colleagues, kids and responsibilities. Sure I would like to make more and have my kids there with me but all things in time.
Time is the discussion regarding next year. Public schools usually start this talk in Feb and March but here we are all chatting about it now. Additional classrooms are needed and well I was secretly (maybe less than total secret) hoping for a class of my own. Funny thing though, initially I was hoping for Gifted, and another responsibility or two leaving me just shy of full time. But well then I talked with "friends" and shifted my hopes. Well, there is my mistake because BAM like a shot in the dark that was blown out of the water. I am not Lutheran so I cannot teach Religion. That means I cannot ever have my own class. I must always be a "specialized teacher" not "the" teacher. Such has been my story really in the 6 years I taught for Francis Howell I was only a classroom teacher for 2.
Anyway, the reality comes full circle that the thoughts about the year ahead are similar to my original plan. My plan, not God's plan.. mine. I see the error of my ways thanks to my mother calling at just the right time with words of wisdom, Godly words and my own reflection here. I truly do believe that God knows the desire of my heart, the needs of my family. I have complete faith that his plans are to prosper not harm, AND I trust in him. I absolutely without a doubt really do. Whew, I am grateful that I have been built up this last 6 months surrounded by Godly people at both my jobs to roll through this momentary slip so quickly.
Here is my thoughts if you feel in your heart to pray for me you know exactly what I am believing for:
Position for me 2nd job for hubby that we both can use the giftings God gave us but NOT take away from our family
Prosperity to get out of debt in 2012
Pay at jobs to be indicative of what we are worth
Job responsibilities to not take away from our family itself
To be in tune to God's plan and not our own
Healing for my children's ailments, tummy troubles, migraines etc
Purpose in all that we do to be lights in the dark times
Last for now but not least.... the right school and opportunity to fund for my kids to attend

Life is a big roller coaster, I am trying to learn to put my hands up with eyes wide open instead of screaming with eyes closed holding on for dear life. How are you doing?