Ebeth's 4 and no more

Parenting is not for the weak. Parenting is a conglomeration of everything I never learned. Parenting is a journey, not a sprint. Parenting is easy...........said NO parent ever! Sigh.. Tonight is one of those nights when I sit alone, in the living room, contemplating where I need to make adjustments. The whole time I am really balancing where my emotions are running array OR where this is the truth I seek. Moments earlier I quoted the scripture Prov 22:6. "Train up a child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it" in order to justify my seemingly unfair choice to one particular child. As I said these words I am fully aware that my kids do not care WHY I am choosing the opposite of them. They don't understand the thought process of this hurts you as much as it hurts me. Quite frankly, I am SURE it hurts me more than them because the disagreeable words spoken on both ends lie etched within my heart. Every time I go through this moment, that sneaky voice r...

     Do you ever just sit and watch the hustle and bustle of things around you? I mean, on a deeper level than simply people watching. When left to my own devices, I regularly do just that. Sometimes it gets me into trouble because I longly dream of times since forgotten. Other times it makes me inwardly rejoice for the blessings thus far. This last week was a lot of both, sadly mostly the not-so-great.      My birthday was last Thursday. No need for belated wishes; I genuinely dislike the lone statements that are typically included out of social politeness. Instead, I prefer genuine interest in a small conversation or sincere handwritten notes. But I digress.       I could go into a long rant about all the things that disappointed me, but instead, I choose to spend my time typing here focused on the 2 moments that shine brighter than all the stormy, dreary parts which made my heart ache. My oldest child is 18, graduating from high school i...

Quite a while has passed since I sat down and put some words on these pages. I do so enjoy reflecting in this way. I am 100% sure next to no one, if not absolutely no one, even read these, yet I get some comfort in the time it takes and the availability of the place.      Today, (meaning my family) took part in a memorial for my Aunt Rosalie. It was the most beautiful occasion. My cousin Cathy, more like a sister but officially a cousin, did what could only be described as perfection in honoring her mother. It was beautiful, heartfelt, and blessed. I can only aspire to do the same when the time comes for my parents (faithfully believing it to be MANY years from now). I have never considered my own death other than concern for provision for my children. Yet, I wish it was similar when it is my time. More like a large gathering of those I shared my life with as they communicate with each other my fond and sometimes imperfect memories of me. Wouldn't that be wond...