Ebeth's 4 and no more

   Recently, a dear friend said, " I don't know that anyone even reads blogs anymore." While she may be 100% accurate, I realized I don't even care tonight. I don't care what I should or shouldn't do to gather an audience. I tend to avoid conforming to what seems popular at the moment. TikTok, Insta, and social media, generally feel more about what an algorithm will pick up and canned responses which aren't natural no matter how many times I try to record them. Grief is a peculiar thing that one simply cannot understand, articulate, or categorize completely. This was my first time with up-close in-your-face grief, so I am only guessing. Writing is cathartic for me. Regularly the depth of the things I feel and the inability to capture or convey them overwhelms my soul. Frankly, in my lifetime, I have met just 1 singular person who gets that part of me. How? How can I be known and so unknown simultaneously?  My 16 would have now been 17-year-old son took his...

   You're so complex are the words that ring in my head. They were spoken by family and confirmed by a friend. This was in response to gifts and birthdays. If you know anything about love languages then you will understand my top, and by top, I mean with a massive lead to all the others, is quality time. For me this entails actual sustained, though it can be for a short duration, intentional engaging with one another. Residing in the same home hardly touches this need, even beyond that neither does watching t.v. Let's be real who actually puts their phone down to do for more than minutes at a time anyway.  Needless to say, on this hallowed day set aside to bask in what is supposed love of those you have birthed the statement that began this account makes a bit more sense. It is also more significant because my birthday is regularly on, r near recognized date. So, here I sit, tossing the difficult mindset around, determining whether I will allow it to encompass my thoughts...