Ebeth's 4 and no more

SO the children who reside/spend their weekdays at my house are many (7) and messy souls. Yes, I am aware this is the life of kids but usually the mess stays concentrated in a few predictable places. Today however the mess was in every space, stuff spilled (toys) down the stairs, a clubhouse of basically every pillow or couch cushion across my bedroom floor because I told them to find somewhere else for it today after decorations were repeatedly being knocked off the wall, though not my location of choice. I did not have the energy to argue about them stealing my reprieve. Laundry spread about I HAD folded on my bed. The bathrooms, note plural, had clothes strewn about from changing to go swimming, sunscreen spilled on the floor in anticipation for swimming. Papers, toys, cars, blocks and more on every table, coffee table, computer desk and counter. This by far was a minefield of the walking. Chairs were not pushed in causing a obstacle course through out at least 2 rooms. Jackets had ...

Max: a black and white, dominant, A type personality, hunter, lover, demander of nightly or naptime attention, patient with young children animal, missing 8 teeth from a 500 surgery I never thought I would have spent, only pet in my household cat. I have had my cat Max since late 2005. He is approx 9 years old. I would have to consult his paperwork to confirm or deny the accuracy of that statement. He was actually purchased from a rescue group for a friend of mine living on her own as an 18 year old mom with a mouse problem. She turned out not being a cat person so catless as we were he became ours. He is an great cat, putting up with #4's sometimes bothersome activities, the stress of a not so quiet house and my lack of attention during the daytime hours. There is however one small negative aspect of his personality and that is he WILL NOT tolerate ANY other cats. Dogs have a limited amount of tolerance as well. I think he only allows that because Bear (my parent's dog who ...

A busy weekend has left my children sleep deprived and a bit off. With it only half over plans must be made to ensure survival. Tomorrow being an early day teaching children's church leaves me no choice in getting everyone to bed on time. Why is it that the important talks seem to happen in the car or right before bed? I suppose when else does the rest of the world slow to not interfere? You would think after nearly 10 years at this I would be prepared a bit but nothing can prepare you. Parenting is like one big surprise present. You open the gift every day and sometimes it makes you elated without words, others wanting to return the gift. Either way you continue to pick the colorfully wrapped box, bow and all up to find out which it will be. Who ever said God does not have a sense of humor? As I made my rounds from room to room my littlest was screaming her head off. She seemed even more upset than usual. I went back in for a second round, a rare treat for her since that typicall...

I love having this blog because it gives me an outlet to think. share and be simply me. Yet at times it can be defeating because well the reality is I want just that to share. I believe God created us all unique and with a divine purpose. He instilled traits and desires deep within the depth of each and every cell of our bodies. Rooted within me is the desire to share with people. I want to live, breath and feel life every second of every day. I want someone in the here and now to take part in that life with me. I realize that no one person can be that always. I think I would shut out the rest if that were the case. Yet, often as in daily I feel as though I am alone. I hear the words of a song and it moves me. I watch a commercial beyond the stupidity of advertisement and it makes me ponder. I run and jump from topic to topic debating within myself thoughts of meals, mortgages, future and the sun. I know I am not the ONLY person in the world who does these things yet I am surrounded...

Sun blazing, boys in pants and gloves despite 90 degree temperature and helmets tossing balls high, low,back and forth. Swinging of bats, waving of arms in a ridiculous looking motion to warm up. People of all ages seated on bleachers, and in lawn chairs outside a tall fence. The smell of hot dogs and nachos fill the air, water bottles and soda being sipped. A baby's cry, a child's squeal faintly heard as they run about to fill the stand still of time...Baseball. If it were solely about me I would rarely be seen at a game. Secretly I did enjoy the minuscule amount of time I was allowed to watch a Rascals game before #1 overheated last summer. But, otherwise need an ipod a good book, a friend to banter with in order to imagine sitting at another pro game ever. Yes, I went to one years ago with a friend. Tonight was different than all that because it was my nephew I was there to watch. Having a personal motivation makes it interesting, besides #2 and #3 will likely continue to ...

My dearest daughter is 26 months old now. She has proven to be quicker, smarter and more agile than all of her siblings combined at this same age. I knew there was a reason it had to be 4 and no more. I can be quoted many a time saying we had to stop having children because they keep getting smarter, soon they will outsmart me. This one will do that one day I am for sure. I have long been an advocate of birth order philosophy. The oldest usually leader type personality, strong and stubborn. The middle peacekeepers, less assertive and more willing to go with the flow. The youngest being daring, vocal and more often than I would like to admit spoiled. Yep, all of these things ring terribly true. Personality plays a huge role in how each individual turns out but merit must be given to the order. It is hard not to compare children who are nearly the same age. As new parents we all were guilty of asking those questions, how much do they weigh, when did they roll over, crawl, walk, speak...

Today being Father's Day I spent time considering the wants/needs of those men in my/kids lives. My FIL did get the least of all this year, I just don't know what to do with him. He is not sentimental about pics, or grand kids kind of things. Though I am certain he is thrilled to have them in his life. He doesn't need a lot nor have a hobby that he purchases things for. My husband and him do share a love of World War and reading. In hindsight a few good books would have done the trick. Then there's my Dad. He is in a weird place with still looking for a job after nearing or beyond 2 yearsish so the fine line between necessity and want is hard to read. He is a proud man who struggles with accepting gifts from me, I guess that father's take care of their daughters kind of thinking. There is nothing absolutely wrong with that thinking... well within reason. But it sure does make it hard at these time of year. I am fairly certain there was no complete solution to a gi...

Have you ever thought about dying? I mean have you ever thought about where you want to be when your time comes to leave this earth? I haven't thought about actually dying as much as what I want to accomplish/leave behind. I have prepared the way in case my children are left without me such as will, life insurance etc. But I haven't really spent much time thinking beyond the day to day lessons I want to teach them via example and expectation. Tonight my husband and I watched the movie The Bucket List. I had seen it before, he had not but I love it. It has a moral to the story and though a somewhat sad ending is good for retrospection. The first things they began completing were purely about superficial satisfaction but then the further it goes something deeper happens. If I were to make a bucket list today what would I put down? I mean there are the places I would like to visit, the things I would like to say I have done but beyond that what else? A good friend of my mom...

To steal the train of thought from another fellow blogger... This is week 3 of running on days that my husband is home in the am. He works 24 hour shifts at the Fire Station and during the week most days heads to his 2nd job not coming home until the evening unless it is a weekend. With that in mind I figure that I need him to be home for the majority of my run (4 kids oldest not quite 10, youngest 2) is not the best to be left alone. This works out to be 3 times a week with a random 4 times here and there, and a rare 2 times once every 9ish weeks. Those weeks should even themselves out. I love to run, well as I sit here I can safely say I love to run. Yet, it seems when the alarm clock rings at 6am I force myself to get up. I use the restroom, put my hair up and change clothes. Then I grab my blackberry which acts as my ipod, and headphones making my way outside to stretch. Stretching complete I walk the length of the driveway and begin running when I reach the road. I switch my rou...

Tonight I found out a close friend is moving away. A close friend whom I have been blessed to watch her son for the last 2 weeks and a couple months or possibly a few beyond that more. Not only that, she is moving in less than a week. I feel a double edged sword. I knew that this was a possibility in the future but with little warning it felt like a distant future.This changes my school year now as Eva is back to being home alone with just me but I am certain that God has that covered. In the same instant I lost a babysitting job I can gain another. I could also sub more at several schools, but truth be told I really wanted 1 more year at home with my baby. This time is so short and I will never get to do it again. Faith comes not by sight or circumstances in front of us. I have ordered steps to walk within, that is not the real reason for my sad feelings. In my lifetime I have had a very select few really close friends. In grade school it was Mandy. In middle school and early High S...

After the tadpole incident Friday all went well. Everyone was happy for the slower day. Lunch came and since the "boys" (#3 and C) headed with G-ma to get hay it was a minor amount less busy. They returned when I had completed their lunch and sat down to eat. While I had a moment of downtime I stood at the sink, basically facing the kids sitting at the bar. No surprise the big 3 (#1, #2 and K) were chatting. In the winding web of topics they covered were thoughts of moms and dads and kids. #2 overheard me telling my SLM ladies about a person I know whose original babysitter was being abused by her husband. Though her child was not affected it had changed how she looked at finding a babysitter. #2 brought this up, which led me to interject the fact that some people even moms and dads are not nice to their kids. Intrigued they waited for more. I explained as best as possible sparring the gruesome details of what an adult is aware but a child need not be. They were taken aback....

This morning began much different than most days, in a good way. I did not run, as I have 3 days so far and it appears allergies have reared their ugly head. I allowed my body a day off. I did get up take my shower, and spend some time reading my new favorite book by Shelia Walsh about prayer, that and spending some time in prayer. Keeping up with my new goals is going well. Then in popped my mother for a time to sit on the porch and catch up. AA got dropped off somewhere in that time, and then later K and C too. The house was filled with the weekly 7. Kids chatted, new climbing skills were discovered by #4 and AA. Laughter/banter continued. But in a flash of an eye that all changed.... A bit of a picture for this that do not know, there is a green type of shelf in the corner of my deck opposite the grill. On the middle shelf there is a plant, then on the bottom shelf live the tadpoles. Recently Max that Alpha cat has been stalking the tadpoles, debating on eating them or trapping w...

As I am now fully immersed in a weekly life of 7 kids I have been forced to fight some of my own inner struggles. Anyone out there who is a parent knows that simply having a child requires a GIGANTIC change on how you think and act. Yet, the fewer kids the easier it is to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Well, assuming you are not a single parent. If you are well, I cannot even try to compare or summarize. At 4 children, and a husband who works 2 jobs (one being 24hr shifts), I can safely say having a me life is barely existent. I cannot solely blame my children for the lack of me time over the years. I could have chosen how to spend my money (what little there was)other ways to go out. I could have ignored the voice in my head screaming they need me too much to leave. I could have done those things and didn't. I can never get that time back either so I am gonna let it by a wash for the past is the past. We all see 20/20 looking back right? Anyway, die to self is my internal m...

Last week being the first week I had 7 children here for the summer meant a whole lot of flexibility. I set up a schedule which previously works but expectantly needed a bit of modification. Then I also added activities to that boredom could be staved off for as long as possible. One of those activities was setting up a prehistoric sea monster (official name triod or something) kit #1 received for his bday. Thus far it has been a flop since not a single egg has hatched. They gave us near a thousand so we will empty tank and try again. Then while helping Gma empty out her fish pond the kids discovered tadpoles and a string of frog eggs. One of the moms attending said we should put them in a vase and watch them grow. The teacher in me reared it head and I said great idea. Vase in hand #1 headed back to catch some. I will admit it did take a bit of persuading since this infringed upon his electronic time, LOL. The vase proved not the best option, so they were quickly moved to rect...

Tonight Daddy cooked fish for dinner, salmon tasty and beautiful in all its cooked glory. Though I enjoy these time very much, my children believe they a 21st century type torture. I think Daddy even brought the famous "There are kids somewhere in the world that don't get to eat all," line. I prefaced the eating with a swift reminder that 2 bites were required, there would be no speaking about the food or stiff penalties are in store. Oh and of course, nothing nice to say don't speak all comment too. As with any dinner in my home, discussion of some kind occurs. It began with Daddy saying he caught the fish we were eating. #3 asking how do they get the eyes out? #1 in all his wisdom said they cut off its head. Daddy and I glance at each other no words needed. #1 almost always asks for approval, so as expected right Daddy was next, followed by a yes Joe. Daddy then confessed the untruth causing a round of Daddy. On this vein of thought talking continued. #1 explain...

If I don't sweat the small stuff how does it stay small. I mean when people lose control over what seems minor it is usually something other than the actual offense. For example nearly every remote in my house is missing the back where the batteries go, my best scissors the only scissors in the house that were not made for children have disappeared. A simple act of putting away the very item being used is much more complicated than it sounds since I either do it myself or attempt to patiently remind the user. This does include my husband as well as the 7 children in my home daily. Yet, in all that and much more that is not even worth listing there are other small things worth sweating. Tonight upon arriving home from dance/tae kwon do errands a great song was playing in the car. Rather than turn it off prematurely I let it play while unloading the groceries. My littlest daughter ran to me screeching mommy in that excited voice only a small child can muster. We began to dance, ye...

Today was my first day of the beginning of many days with 7 kids. Now 4 of them are mine, yet 7 is a big number. Every summer, as this is the 3rd one that my niece and nephew are with me every day, presents the same challenge the first week or two. Kids figure out the rules, the schedule and the pecking order of who is in charge. This particular year is even more interesting as #1 will be 10, niece will be 9 and older daughter is 7 1/2. Girls cling to girls at this age which leaves the perpetual person out, usually #1. 3 is always a bad number for that exact reason, #3 has C and now #4 has AA. It is just a good thing that he typically does his own thing when electronics are allowed anyway. After the extras went home and Daddy took #2 to her ballgame #3 tagging along, I was left with the oldest and youngest. Right now #4 being big enough to hang but little enough to not make choices means quality time. We bantered in the car over crazy situations such as Monster truck driving across a...