Ebeth's 4 and no more

Space Wide open space Green pastures Mountain sides Oceans and beaches Seemingly empty and yet so full space I am frozen in these kind of places.  Once upon my life, I yearned for filled spaces, bustling to-do lists that consume, active lifestyle with demands at every turn. I craved it all and hardly allowed a moment to be still unless of course there was a gaggle of family to do so. Now, I avoid the highly social events. Sure I can have fun at them but it is just so draining. My cup runneth on empty. I crave to be free from the bonds that hold me here. Presently, the only freedom comes in my mind pretending I just disappeared, started over in a brand new place. I remind myself that I would likely regret missing out on milestones and moments but then starkly can ignore how defeating those moments are in reality. Is this menopause, grief, midlife crisis, failing marriage, or age? I don't know but either way, joy gets harder to carry. What's so peculiar is the faith I feel amid a...

 Two classes of high school learners at my school just finished a satire unit albeit a short one at that. None of them fully understood the genre though they all quickly recognized elements and examples. Several of my generally kind and considerate by default students found it even more difficult to create their own because it forced them out of their usual voice and perspective and into a new one.  Yet my title is not even a teeny bit of satire; it is a truth I never knew. Failure isn't the end of the road but a speed bump along the way. The same goes for grief and loss. Here I sit, 2 and a half years in and I can safely say those words. Time sure doesn't heal all by itself. Healing requires the relentless determination to keep...getting....back....up. I think for me the fight is the catalyst to drive forward and win this war. I am constantly, methodically raging against everything that could stop me from virtually anything and everything. I have so clearly an awareness; almo...