Ebeth's 4 and no more

Today is one of those days..ya know when your demeanor is overall ungrateful, attitude is frustrated and/or discouraged and ya just don't want to take care of anyone even yourself. I didn't get a lot of sleep the last few nights mostly by my own bad choices. After I put the kids to bed night time is the only ME time I get. I mean, I can't clean or work around the house because I need the house to stay quiet and dark. I am tired so I have no energy to organize things that could wait. I hole up in my room and do whatever I want. That too is a loose term as part of my "whatever" equals tying up loose ends, responding to e-mails, organizing schedules etc. Next thing I know it is 10:00 and I just feel relaxed. Sleep feels like it steals my sanity by filling up the last bit of selfish peace I have. This is a most ridiculous notion, really I can build a break in my day but I choose to let petty needs like having every last crumb swept, or every finger print from the prec...

Cheap fun with small children can be wandering the mall. There is long indoor hallways and open spaces so movement works, some even have a play area. Shiny attractive toys, clothes and the like can be found if mom and/or dad are brave enough to stop and see. Glass elevators and escalators are like mini roller coasters for a toddler. Gumballs can be purchased with just a quarter. Mom gets to window shop and pretend that she actually can afford to walk in and come out with random bag after bag of "stuff". Hubby and I have done this many a time to get out of the house and spend little. Today I decided it would be a perfect treat. #1 used to call it the stairs place (his favorite thing to do there) and any visit brings excitement for my crew. Christmas has the extra element of additional attractions. One of those would be the trampoline. At one time I had them convinced they were too young, that is until a parent blew my cover by letting there 4 year do it. Then they require cash...

This blah weather can easily be turned into simple fun!! I can make anything joyful if I try. Take a minute and watch it, go ahead ya know you want to..it will make you smile! http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=singin+in+the+rain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbZcYy6AAGg

Why? But Why? Why? Oh.... Yep my daughter with a expansive vocabulary at the age of two has reduced to this simple word..why. I recall each child moving through this stage and that it was/is in some way annoying. But nothing compares to the present and to yet another reminder of making no assumption on what people are really enduring. I lean to a been there, done that, and earned the badge feeling as I spend a decent amount of time with newer momma's living each day for the first time. But once again #4 smacks me beside the head with yeah ya know but isn't it even better this time?? One small example that I will admit had me smiling to share. Scene 1: Moms enters daughters room where she is awake in her crib and ready to begin the day. Daughter is happy to see mother and smiles, says hello or virtually any greeting with a smile. Mom (that would be me): Good morning beautiful (sing song like the country song). 2 1/2 year old daughter standing (#4): Hi Mom. Mom: (deep sighs ...

I have long felt that being a teacher is very different once you have children. To say you understand a parents life when you are not one is a flat out lie. You can never understand what is like to be responsible for another person's life, for their future. At some point they must do it themselves but equipping them in their own personal bent is unlike any other caretaking their ever could be! It is a team effort and having outside eyes like teachers can be a blessing, or sometimes a struggle. I assure you I am a changed teacher from this point on! Having said that...be aware I now have a 4th grader a 2nd grader, K and not yet preschooler. The assignment books, home to school communication papers, schedule, lunch money and on gets CRAZY! They are in two different school right now but just 3 more years will be in 3 schools for the duration of time I have kids in school. Whew, I think I am getting dizzy just typing that! That is another rant for another day, as in having ...

2am is filled with dark corners, abandoned public places, street lights blocking the twinkle of the stars, desolate roads and green stoplights for miles. It is a time for retrospection, internal wars and random thoughts. Funny I am so used to being task oriented that I actually tried to figure out what I should do with the time. As in I needed an agenda such as to pray in that time, to listen to music and relax, to plan and plot out life. It wasn't until I was a good 5 minutes in a debate with myself that I recognized I didn't need to do any of that but be led as the time passed. I certainly am a creature of habit!! Earlier in the evening, well actually the 7 hours before I spent the most glorious time with my local mommies group. Well, local being between 40 minutes and an hour away for many of them but much more local than my Montana friend. These ladies are mostly made up of varying age women who all have kids. Most of them do not have as many kids, nor as old as Joey/Anna...

In the last months I have solely been listening to Joy FM. Words have such power and the constant reminder of God is better than any medicine. But today I didn't prefer the song they were playing and flipped to a few of my old favorites. This song was playing and I cannot get enough of it. The video is odd, but really the message is about being different and being ok with being different so rather than over think some of the odd differences take it at face value. Pink is an interesting artist but the words of her songs speak to me so whatever that means. So for the 50th time today I will listen to it and dance:) http://www.wat.tv/video/pink-raise-your-glass-official-362ur_2zicp_.html

I have been described as many many things over time. Often to my face the words had a positive spin, I am pretty sure the negative has and still does circulate as well. Words have power, they speak life and they speak death. I am so keenly aware of this that I fail to trust many words coming from those closest to me. A perfect stranger can say something and it carries more weight. I suppose that is because the stranger has little need to lie. They have no motive, nothing to gain and their words seem honest whereas a family member or friend can readily do so. I fully realize this is a distorted view but the hard knocks of life have shown me it rings all too true. As a teacher you are taught to find the best in everyone, to use that in motivating and play on it first. I can spot the generic words on a note, newsletter or assignment a mile away and shudder in irritation. Why must we say things we don't really mean? How ironic is it that the thing that means a great deal to me is als...

When my children are grown how will they describe their childhood? I mean the occasional raised voice, chores and nagging of cleanliness I am sure. But how will they describe my never ending plotting, organization of teaching character? The most recent plan is job expectations. I typed up personal lists for the Big 3 with what I expect of them each day. Hubby and I allotted 5 cents to each of #2 and #3's items, 10 cents to #1's. If they failed at all items they would be left with basically enough to cover savings, and tithe. But it worked for a day, I was hoping for the excitement to at least last the first week. Alas, it is a good idea so I am gonna stick with it a bit longer. The thought is at a job you "should" be given a list of what you are to do and then raises etc are based on performance. Some things take time so check back. I wish there was a magic wand to motivate internally external thoughts. Well here goes plan layer 2. This Christmas I am determined tha...

A lot of discussion along my mommy friend world as of late is the last baby kind of reminiscing. I am thankful for the company in this area, it seems many times the lovely ladies I could not imagine life without are in different places such as newly potty training, night waking breaking, and on. Recently upon retrieving #4 from her bed in the morning the passing thought of how fun it would be to change up her room, ie her bed with new bedding, etc came to mind. But before I could expand to the details a flash of no more crib meaning no more baby shocked my system. Let's be real this child is as far from the baby as any 2 1/2 or even 4-year-old with her vocabulary and on. A crib hardly defines her as a baby. Mostly I have longed for her to sail on to the next as it were. I am ok with no more baby needing feedings every 2, 3, or 4 hours, no more diapers, no more pumping or discomfort from being "full" and on. Course, I think about all this and then I look at the pictur...

This weekend hubby and I went away for some non kid time. In our stead my WONDERFUL Aunt Linda stayed with the crew, my Uncle John joining them late Saturday afternoon as well. They went to Planet Fun with the cousins, ate McDonald's including choices I am to stingy health and price wise to allow (good for them for the treat!), tacos for dinner, church, even the park too! Smart woman to figure out the key to less trouble with 4 kids, keep em movin! #1 lost a tooth while we were gone and the tooth fairy came leaving a note similar to the last one. This confirmed that his parents couldn't possibly be the tooth fairy:) He went on to contemplated what he would do should he ever win the lottery. In his plan he would get #3 something but he was still trying to determine what he would want. #3 finally decided he wants a skate board and I added why not a entire skate park since he is buying #2 a roller skating rink. This being her new obsession. She still doesn't get that unlik...

My littlest girl continues to blow me away! Toady her PAT (Parents as Teachers) come today. She loves having her own "teacher" and was terribly excited. At dinner we typically will describe our day in the way if high and low. Stolen from a chic flick this idea works great. Everyone was going around the table when she said it was her turn. "My high was when my teacher came and colored with me." I could hardly speak, did she just comprehend this conversational skill? I mean 2 1/2 years old and she can reflect in such a way?? Not only that but later tonight she told me she wasn't in trouble. I agreed and she went on to explain. "I stand up in cart and you tell me sit down. I not get gummy ball and you take me to the potty and spank me. I cry and say I be good. You tell me sit down and I say ok. I not sit down and you not get me gummy ball. I was in trouble. I not in trouble now. I be good girl." I got nothing to say to that. All true information thoug...

Ah the day that is of mixed appeal. On one hand I of course LOVE LOVE LOVE the candy, the kids happily moving from house to house and event to event. But on the other hand I cannot forget all the TERRIBLE things that misguided people tend to do on that day. It leaves me praying under my breath on and off during the day, and weeks prior. Nonetheless the weather was a tad cool, but clear and darn good for a Sunday celebration. Hubby and I taught in children's church first thing (Superkids for him and preschool 2-5 for me). Then grocery shopping and home for lunch, nap and rest. Promptly at 3:10 we headed out the door to SLFC harvest festival. I think Michael was just born the last time we made it there. Aunt Lisa met us and kindly purchased all the tickets the kids needed, except for kettle corn and a drink. #3 and #4 rode the dragon roller coaster worth exuberance, #1 rode these spinning bears, and #2 and Aunt Lisa the big octopus style ride. There were plenty of games to play ...