The best of times and the worst of times...




I love being a mom, and I do love my children (some days more so than others:). But the years prior to school seem to be jam packed with frustrating excitement and daily moments you want to chart. I feel like I am always talking about her, as I am not so much the bigger kids. The mommy guilt sets in...do I love her more, them less because she is consuming more?

Nah. She is changing monthly, weekly..sometimes daily and the bigger kids just are past that stage. It is OK for me to take note of that right? I mean she is here in the flesh with me all the time. Michael is too but he has so much more on his agenda then spending every waking minute with me.
This little girl is the life and the death of me all wrapped up in one. Can we just pause a second so I can get a grip on losing my baby and learning to be independent?? At least someone else follow her around and say no stop, put that back, stay out of there:)
Today alone she has peed in 3 pairs of underwear yet pooped once and peed twice on the potty, brought me my half full glass of tea which should have been too high to reach let alone reach without spilling. She has gotten the applesauce out and made herself a bowl, taken her pants off, changed her shoes, unlocked the cabinet in the bathroom to bring me a tampon and hairspray....on and on and on. All this in the less than 2 hours we have been home since taking siblings to school. We played dress up with her brothers robe and later a superman cape, read 3 books and made several stacks of blocks.
Sitting here reflecting while the baby monitor reveals what #3, cousin C and her are doing with the door shut in her room makes me smile as I am so glad to take part. So glad to hear them "teach" her the ways of life. So glad that I am their mother, his Aunt. Yet shortly I will swing from this joy to the need to flee as transitions and tasks need to be completed with a less than cooperative child.
She says yes when she truly agrees but no every other opportunity. She tells me lello mommy (love you), and screams red faced and kicking just a moment later when I will not give her the snack of choice.
Yep, the best of times and the worst of times. This is the life with a toddler. There just is no remedy, no profound piece of wisdom either. Just moment to moment survival.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 5, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    Holy goodness Batman, I had to look at that 2nd picture of her, in the hat and too large shoes, several times before I realized it was her and not #3. Never realized how much they resembled one another in the face.
    Nicely written, by the way.

    ReplyDelete

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