Father's and Mother's..Women vs Men

Today being Father's Day I spent time considering the wants/needs of those men in my/kids lives. My FIL did get the least of all this year, I just don't know what to do with him. He is not sentimental about pics, or grand kids kind of things. Though I am certain he is thrilled to have them in his life. He doesn't need a lot nor have a hobby that he purchases things for. My husband and him do share a love of World War and reading. In hindsight a few good books would have done the trick.
Then there's my Dad. He is in a weird place with still looking for a job after nearing or beyond 2 yearsish so the fine line between necessity and want is hard to read. He is a proud man who struggles with accepting gifts from me, I guess that father's take care of their daughters kind of thinking. There is nothing absolutely wrong with that thinking... well within reason. But it sure does make it hard at these time of year. I am fairly certain there was no complete solution to a gift he would be willing to accept that he truly wanted. I instead went with some need, some kid inspired and some memorabilia. Hopefully it worked enough to not disappoint. He does more than he knows for my family and me and should consider that everything counts, not just material things.
Lastly, there leaves my husband. This year there were several small items he needed/wanted so I spread out picking them up. Then there were some kid created items, partially with me and partially on their own. Next there was something completely silly. An award that said "The Turfinator". SO true being all his hard work here with the grass and at his second job, heck even sometimes at the fire station. A few pieces of candy and a World War II movie collection wrapped it all together. I can safely say he was surprised and content. We even made him a pizza that he requested for dinner with the mushrooms shaped like a heart and the black olives spelling out We and you. It was a nice, and silly touch that only I would do. Yep, I think I nailed it as best as possible this year.
Material things set aside there is something else that took place on this commercially motivated day. A special message from a guest speaker at church. His names is Joe Mcgee and I simply cannot get enough of this man's teachings. He is insightful, and speaks through an element of humor that is refreshing and real. He also is a parent to 6 kids, a member of a 12 child household himself he has got a real gift with parenting. His oldest kids are out of school so he can talk to people whose kids are grown, but can relate better than most to those of us still in the trenches. I own one of his books, and hope to read more soon.
Being the day it was he spoke about men's roles. He conveyed a few things in a way I really grasped them. For example, he joked as I have heard before about marriage being a funeral. But he added, it is a die to self cleave to your mate kind of funeral. Funny, I forgot how die to self began then, not when you become a parent. I forgot that I must give up some of me to be us. Another point I chewed up for a bit was that men's role in a marriage is to love his wife, provide for his family (mostly a financial sense) and lead. A woman role is to care for her children and to allow him to lead. Now I know that in our current world there are parameters such as two working parents etc which change this a bit. I am not meaning that all women should stay home. But the point that this brought home to me is regardless of how you survive a man is gifted by God to do a very different role than his wife. A woman is bent to manage her home, be primary care taker to her children etc. This does not mean he doesn't help. If a man truly is loving his wife then he will do those things which she needs which may be taking the trash out on his own etc.
It never sunk in to me that I cannot compare my life to my husband's. I cannot look at how his work, or manner in providing for our family allows/demands very different things emotionally and physically than my role. I cannot say it's not fair he gets to think about just him while working both places, he gets to eat on his own and come home to me having it all taken care of. He doesn't have the 24 hour 7 day a week stress of balancing 6 people, plus the bonus ones I watch to also earn my living. God didn't mean for him to do my job. He meant for us to work in our gifting for the greater good of those within our home and his work beyond it. WOW, this was a revelation like no other. Now, you may not get this same thing from my writing but let me tell you I am changed. He is not designed to be me, nor am I designed to be him. It is true that he would falter in the role I have but that is not because I am all that great it is because this is what God created me to do. We are not to be the same..thank goodness cause I am pretty sure one of us wouldn't have made it HA!
However having that said, God doesn't free him of responsibility within the home either. He must carry out his end of the plan too. If he doesn't God will equip me in that too. We ALL have choices. But, if there is one thing I have learned in the last year it is this. I must change me before I can expect others to change. I cannot change me just for them to change either. I knew that simple idea but never dug deep to walk it daily. If I want to be blessed, and prosper in God's will then I must die to self, in all areas and let my footsteps be ordered by him. The reality is every time I let go and walk in this miracles happen. My husband is becoming the man of my dreams once I give him room to be. We are prospering DESPITE the current economy and mess. I do not have to look to the news to tell me what is gonna happen. The Bible says there will plenty until and during the 1000 year rein of Christ. I have some incredible women under the radar surrounding me more then I ever was aware before. Friends are not defined by daily or biweekly involvement. I have an abundance to share in areas others need be it the peace in my home, meat, children's apparel and accessories and beyond. I may not be rich in money but I am rich in so much more that is a priceless reminder from face after face of God's grace in my life.
Dear Lord let this awareness of you and life continue throughout the week ahead. Even when I am feeling lunch to 7 impatient, hungry/tired children. Let me be a blessing to lives I touch and my family and friends close or extended. I pray that each of you reading this now feel his hand on your life too. If God is for us who then can be against, just allow him in. Let go of the how, when, where and why and give it to him! He already has the answer, don't you get it. He has done all the work. We don't have to do anything but be a vessel.
Hugs all...if you are reading this ya know I love ya and want you to grab ahold of this simple but altering revelation! God Bless and sleep tight till the next Colbert adventure ahead.....