Teenagers and transistions
I noticed this tidbit of commentary from July 2015. It all certainly rings true and was worth sharing here.
Because of Facebook I spend so much time carrying the emotions of other's lives around with me. It feels like I am a friend to many when I am really a friend to few. Many of these people are those I haven't had an actual conversation with in years. Yet as I watch them go through some of life's challenges my emotions are with them. It is such a precarious thing to feel a part but not be a part.
Currently I am reading through one friend's emotion experience of losing her mother. It wrenches at my heart and though she has no real clue that I am praying for her more than just a like on her posts I am.
Another friend seems to be struggling a great deal with the trials of teenage years and I am agreeing along the way with her, reading the articles and thinking about how much I wonder if she gets the God in this frustratingly rewarding time in her life.
Then my mind ponders just WHO of the people that partake in my sharing actually are a part of my life. I sure hope some of them would do the same for me. I also get why I am thrilled that my oldest children 15, and 12 1/2 are not really a part of this social/unsocial media. The one has Instagram and Snapchat (which is not my fav but giving some give room on this one), which is PLENTY but the other only his XBOX live friends.
I desire for them to know what real life is meant to be, to have a balance between the joys of not knowing every detail their friends are doing so there is conversation to be had when together. I desire for them to experience life and the world while under the safety net of not being on their own.
I do not wish for the days back when I was completely in control because I wouldn't get to be myself. These days I can breathe in who I am and where I am going with my life because while a parent for this time they will leave and I would hate to be entrenched only in my mom role.
I just read an article that said it was a lie when people tell you it gets easier. I suppose that has many perspectives too. There is a window in time, depending on how close your kids are in age. In that window they can feed themselves, dress themselves and entertain themselves. They don't need your every move nor cling to you the same but for the most part you still control their world. Those years are the adolescent years or approx ages 6-10, maybe even age 11 too. Those years give you a chance to recoup from some the constant need just before teenage needs. The problem is when you hit that stage you forget that you have SO much more to teach them before they leave.
It is a misnomer that teenagers need you less. They are like big toddlers. They need you just as much for many of the same reasons toddlers did. They need toddler hours of sleep. They are asking you the questions about the real world but these no longer are why are the stars only out at night. They are things like date rape drugs, what to look for in a mate, and how did that 15 year old girl end up pregnant. They need you to let them fail at times but be close by and teach not lecture, or belittle. They need you to be available when they open up and not get your feelings hurt when they don't.
I in turn need God because I will NEVER be the mom my kids need without his daily refreshing, wisdom, and grace.
Yes, Facebook reminds me so much of how blessed I am to not be going through the struggles others are. It reminds me to pray for others, to share in their lives and then to get off Facebook so I can stay ever present in my own precious daily life!
Currently I am reading through one friend's emotion experience of losing her mother. It wrenches at my heart and though she has no real clue that I am praying for her more than just a like on her posts I am.
Another friend seems to be struggling a great deal with the trials of teenage years and I am agreeing along the way with her, reading the articles and thinking about how much I wonder if she gets the God in this frustratingly rewarding time in her life.
Then my mind ponders just WHO of the people that partake in my sharing actually are a part of my life. I sure hope some of them would do the same for me. I also get why I am thrilled that my oldest children 15, and 12 1/2 are not really a part of this social/unsocial media. The one has Instagram and Snapchat (which is not my fav but giving some give room on this one), which is PLENTY but the other only his XBOX live friends.
I desire for them to know what real life is meant to be, to have a balance between the joys of not knowing every detail their friends are doing so there is conversation to be had when together. I desire for them to experience life and the world while under the safety net of not being on their own.
I do not wish for the days back when I was completely in control because I wouldn't get to be myself. These days I can breathe in who I am and where I am going with my life because while a parent for this time they will leave and I would hate to be entrenched only in my mom role.
I just read an article that said it was a lie when people tell you it gets easier. I suppose that has many perspectives too. There is a window in time, depending on how close your kids are in age. In that window they can feed themselves, dress themselves and entertain themselves. They don't need your every move nor cling to you the same but for the most part you still control their world. Those years are the adolescent years or approx ages 6-10, maybe even age 11 too. Those years give you a chance to recoup from some the constant need just before teenage needs. The problem is when you hit that stage you forget that you have SO much more to teach them before they leave.
It is a misnomer that teenagers need you less. They are like big toddlers. They need you just as much for many of the same reasons toddlers did. They need toddler hours of sleep. They are asking you the questions about the real world but these no longer are why are the stars only out at night. They are things like date rape drugs, what to look for in a mate, and how did that 15 year old girl end up pregnant. They need you to let them fail at times but be close by and teach not lecture, or belittle. They need you to be available when they open up and not get your feelings hurt when they don't.
I in turn need God because I will NEVER be the mom my kids need without his daily refreshing, wisdom, and grace.
Yes, Facebook reminds me so much of how blessed I am to not be going through the struggles others are. It reminds me to pray for others, to share in their lives and then to get off Facebook so I can stay ever present in my own precious daily life!
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