Words of Affirmation

Today I spent 5 hours at my daughter's school. It was field day and I was yet again the only parent helper for her class. I say this but don't mean to imply an undertone of my dislike for being the only one. This sets the stage for my abilities within the school realm to shine. As a SAHM (stay at home mom) former teacher this is a very good thing.

Today's duties were much like being a sub. I had groups of students ranging from 3 all the way to 13 that rotated through my daughter's classroom. It was for 20 minutes at a time, with a 40 minute lunch in between. Mrs. K was nowhere to be seen except for lunch I suppose because I was quite capable. I did not get to interact with my daughter but for 1 hour total. That part I wish I could have changed. But, if that was what had to happen in order for the day to flow for her then my time I willingly give.
During lunch her teacher and I talked for a bit and I mentioned how I wished I could find someone that would job share with me. She said,"I would, sign me up. You would be the organized and structured side to my class." Then later that day as I was packing up and the students gave me a round of applause followed by many hugs she made one more statement. "If you ever look for a job do start here." Words of affirmation I will hold on too!! People I know compliment here and there but those words feel less meaningful too me. I know that is wrong and I should take them as truth yet I just can't. A person in the field, who has no obligation to make more than polite thank you's convinces me of real truth. I am not sure when and where I lost the ability to believe loved one's words but it is what it is.

The car ride home was scattered with active brain waves. After a boy in #2's class told me he liked her. Jacob I think was his name. #2 saying she didn't like him, he simply liked her. She went on to say he couldn't kiss her either, but no reply on who could??? Moments later in the car listening to her music of choice my mind began to wander. How is it that 2 schools in the same district, with staff that moved from one to the other could be so different. I mean at her school I am loved, involved, valued and relied upon. At #1's school the secretaries unfriendly to most know my son as minutes late about 3-5 times a quarter, pushy because of his IEP and now 504's. The teacher's from last year had a good repoire with me, the counselor, nurse too. But the current teacher and I once collegues do not see eye to eye. The assistant principal respects me I think but disagrees with me on several topics I have brought up. I am not able to volunteer weekly etc. That building is not familiar comfortable faces. The only person I do have good repoire with is the principal. I made an impression on a parent involvement committee as well as room mom for every party, attending PTO meetings where it allowed an open debate of dual school time considerations. He knows me by name, #1 too. I guess better to make the top dog respect you anyway right?
Next school year will be a new place for us all. #3 starting in the familiar school but #2 in 2nd grade where there are no teacher's I know, the same goes for 4th grade for #1. This year has been about perserverance, pushing though when life is unfair. It has been a learning experience for me as a mom and teacher too. I see yet another side of parenting that my days in the classroom did not know. Both he and I will make better choices because of this year. I suppose one more time when God can turn anything around.
I choose to be open to the ordered footsteps laid out in front of me, to move in the direction best for my family and my destiny, and #1 and I will be able to use our gifts in the way intended. But, man I needed today to remind me that I still got it. Man, I sure do!