The trials of 10

Gone are the days of wistful thoughts reflecting upon my trials in parenting. Ahead is the reality of train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it mentality. #1 is 10, he's been that since July less than 3 months ago. However the ups and downs and somewhat random struggles between blind obedience and willful rebellion have begun to be daily occurrences. I have knowingly attempted numerous strategies of curbing, staving off and positive encouragement. BUT, time has come for the rubber to meet the road and be tough.
It is painful to impose negative consequences at times, during toddler years it seems to hurt you more than them. But there is a basic level at that age. You provide choices, expect limited things and have easier choices of consequences. Putting a toy away or removing a privilege is simpler and shorter lived at that age. It gets more complicated years later. TRUST ME!! This day it hurts us both. I cannot twist the no electronics to none except with the whole family. I cannot have a Star Wars house party even when he has not shown improvement in over a week. Yep, been there lived that and today reaped the reward or lack there of. When his eyes met mine and he rudely said, "I DON'T WANT THAT!", to a person offering him a balloon. Or when I corrected him and instructed an apology adding no thank you he flat out refused. OR when we kindly asked for a few pieces of candy left over from the parade we just rode in he snatched the bag away from an adult and pushed and shoved others.
Then upon our "heated discussion" in the car he was informed of the changes at hand. It included cleaning out the car and his room. Here is attempt 1 at his "cleaning".


He actually thought he was done! WOW, is all I can say. A couple reminders later he got it right.
Yep, it is time to get to the heart and the only way is through earnest effort on my part and blood/sweat and tears on his. Well, figuratively on the blood part anyway:)I remember these years with parents whose methodology was not always the best but the basic lessons were on track.
Once banished to eat his lunch while cleaning his room I took a moment to have a heart to heart. Explaining the length of time for this life of work and little play was up to him. He had all the balls in his court to get it or not. He sat in my lap and leaned on me so I know he was listening. Sadly, this is an uphill battle and small wins are not a sign of the war being over. However, uplifted that this too shall pass and God's grace is sufficient for all my needs and his according to his riches and glory.

Being a mom isn't always a party that is for sure. But as I remind my children I am held to God's standard of teaching them too so my reward is for later from him and them.